A Man that's a 28 Year Old Virgin

[Tsar]

Must be more common in America than people think.

[S_Parc]

This guy is thinking himself into circles. That's conducive to neither a productive nor a happy life.

It's better to follow DaveCat, who'd gotten himself a RealDoll, and had given up on dating altogether, years ago ...



The only thing is that one shouldn't put this stuff on the 'Net and get oneself ostracized by future employers.

[Dragon]

Just go see a god damn hooker.

[Ghost]

.

[S_Parc]

Just go see a god damn hooker.

The U.S. desperately needs legal (and affordable) p4p. Being forced into celibacy wracks your mind and soul and leaves you with damage that may never fully heal. I was a late virgin and I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from the years of loneliness, pain, and isolation. I honestly don't see how any man makes it into his 30s or 40s or beyond as a forced virgin without giving a blowjob to a shotgun.

The other thing is that the US has a massive propaganda cul-de-sac against P4P.

I mean how many guys do you know of, who live in the San Diego-to-LA region, who'd never consider going to Tijuana to get their rocks off, instead of trying the local bars? It's quite a large number. The same goes for guys in New England, who'd never visit Montreal to see esc@rts.

Many American parents should send their sons to a brothel in Brazil or SE Asia for their eighteenth birthday. There should be none of this *waiting for the one* faux ritual, which severs a man's coming of age. You won't believe the sheer number of parents who keep touting *the one*, whenever the topic would come up. And what's pathetic is that many of these so-called happy parents are on their second or third marriages as if somehow, they'd once met *the one* themselves when they didn't. Life is a series of misadventures, just make sure that the eighteenth birthday celebration is worth something.

[Moretorque]

Just go see a god damn hooker.

Your actually pretty cute dragon.

[Ghost]

.

[Adama]

Just go see a god damn hooker.

The U.S. desperately needs legal (and affordable) p4p. Being forced into celibacy wracks your mind and soul and leaves you with damage that may never fully heal. I was a late virgin and I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from the years of loneliness, pain, and isolation. I honestly don't see how any man makes it into his 30s or 40s or beyond as a forced virgin without giving a blowjob to a shotgun.

Just think. Women can legally kill unborn children, yet you can have your career ruined just by doing something that comes perfectly natural. There's a reason why they call it the world's oldest profession. If money lending is legal, why shouldnt prostitution be legal? They'll have gay parades in New York City, pay for abortion, birth control and sex changes, but consensual heterosexual sex must be criminalized.

I almost took the shotgun route myself. I went to Europe in my early 20s, and I said to myself this is it, or die! I already knew I could do it, because on my first two week stay, I kissed two women and did some things I shouldnt have with one of them. So although I wasn't super confident in myself, I had enough confidence that I was in the right place and time and that it was definitely possible.

In the USA, you can be very confident, but it usually isnt possible to hook up with women after college-age.

In hindsight though, there were about four or five American women who I could have hooked up with, but I missed out on, due to super low self esteem, inability to believe anyone could want me, previous cruel rejection by unattractive women (cause I thought of myself as unattractive), and overall lack of positive experiences with women in general and regarding dating. I had the wrong focus (believing they could not possibly want me instead of believing they could). So I could not see what was right in front of me.

I don't know if many American men are making that mistake, because they have low self esteem, had bad experiences with women, and think most women arent interested. The truth is the women are the ones who are screwed up here. I say that because I've had women reject me for little to no reason, crushing me, then within two weeks or a month, they come back to rekindle my interest. Why come back later if I had to be rejected in the first place when nothing has changed? It's because American women are mostly broken.

Really you might not even want to be successful with American women, especially if you have a faulty picker. I think there are some decent American women. They fly under the radar because they dont make themselves noticeable, until they meet their type of man.

[Dragon]

Just go see a god damn hooker.

The U.S. desperately needs legal (and affordable) p4p. Being forced into celibacy wracks your mind and soul and leaves you with damage that may never fully heal. I was a late virgin and I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from the years of loneliness, pain, and isolation. I honestly don't see how any man makes it into his 30s or 40s or beyond as a forced virgin without giving a blowjob to a shotgun.

The other thing is that the US has a massive propaganda cul-de-sac against P4P.

I mean how many guys do you know of, who live in the San Diego-to-LA region, who'd never consider going to Tijuana to get their rocks off, instead of trying the local bars? It's quite a large number. The same goes for guys in New England, who'd never visit Montreal to see esc@rts.

Many American parents should send their sons to a brothel in Brazil or SE Asia for their eighteenth birthday. There should be none of this *waiting for the one* faux ritual, which severs a man's coming of age. You won't believe the sheer number of parents who keep touting *the one*, whenever the topic would come up. And what's pathetic is that many of these so-called happy parents are on their second or third marriages as if somehow, they'd once met *the one* themselves when they didn't. Life is a series of misadventures, just make sure that the eighteenth birthday celebration is worth something.

Sure would've helped me. I was incel until age 26. After losing it to my first girlfriend, then hiring my first escort, followed by a one-night stand that lasted a week, I was finally able to not feel entirely left out of life. But damage still remains. I have a long way to go. I can just imagine what my life would've been like in my early to mid 20s if I could've gotten the monkey off my back at 18.

The funny thing is most people get caught up in what happened in the past and don't realize what they could have from now on. Sure, a lot of guys (including me) missed out on being 20 something year old studs that slept with sorority girls and partied all the time, and that understandably causes depression. But what they don't realize is that those studs often get fat/married and fall into sexless marriages and divorce, having their lives ruined and wasted. All those "forever alone" virgins don't realize the other side of things.

This fixation on being young and enjoying things or miss out is really unhealthy. You could see it in Japanese culture, where a lot of their anime involves high school settings, because that's the last time you'll truly be free to enjoy your youth there, and traditionally for most Japanese adults, that's true because they have to work 80+ hours a week and never see their kids.

Guess what thought? You aren't those studs that sleep with sorority chicks and that's a good a thing. As long as you aren't an idiot and maintain reasonable physical shape and wealth by working hard, you could be dating and sleeping with (non-prostitute) 18 year-olds when you're in your 30s and 40s overseas. The same thing can't be said about those studs that end up stuck with their nagging fat wives, financially broken, and too entrenched to ever leave the country.
Sure, you missed out on some great sexual adventure when you were young, but that means you can't have a better one of your own.

[IraqVet2003]

I'm here to say that this 28 Year Old Virgin is not alone!!! I'm 42 YEAR OLD VIRGIN MYSELF!!! However, it seems that in today's American society that is far more shameful to reveal that you are a male virgin than if you were homosexual "coming out-of-the closet". But, as I have stated in some other posts, I'm NOT gay nor do I hate women.
When I was that young guy's age instead of chasing women or "skirt", I had been engaged in both intellectual and some spiritual pursuits while in college (and later in the Army). By doing so I had developed a deep "inner life". But, to be honest, I was also a bit shy and an introvert. I possibly a MGTOW and didn't know it at the time. Now even as a middle-aged man I can find it difficult at times to deal with the sexual urges as well as the occasional loneiness and isolation. However, I found a few advantages to still being a virgin :

1.) NO STDs OR HIV.
2.) NO CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS TO MAKE.
3.) NO ALIMONY TO PAY (NEVER BEEN MARRIED/NO COMMON LAW MARRIAGE).
4.) NO "EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE" FROM BAD RELATIONSHIPS.

Now having said this, I don't want anyone to think I'm judging their past or come across a "holier-than-thou" type of person. Not everyone can take the life path I have taken. But at the same time, I will say that I really hate how American society shames male virgins by stating they are not "real men" or that they "must be gay" for not pursuing women. Even Hollywood 10 years ago made a movie "THE 40YR OLD VIRGIN" (2005) that made mockery of a middle-aged guy who had never slept with a woman. However, it is still my hope I to someday soon find some beautiful, friendly, and feminine women to be with and perhaps marry from ABROAD (Europe, South America, or Southeast Asia). I'm so glad I have found Winston's website, youtube videos, and have read his "Happier abroad" E-book because in it he offers guys like me hope!!!

[Wolfeye]

It's an interesting thing: I more or less abstained from society, not sex- this had an effect. I don't have any issue with sex or with women, but I didn't want to get embroiled in this society. I didn't really plan things out, it just kept being the same shit. There wasn't much of anything as far as taking serious things seriously, actually giving a shit about someone, fighting back against f***ed-up things, or really doing anything but work/eat/sleep. They'd treat someone like shit when they didn't deserve it, blame them when they weren't at fault, act like someone's an idiot if they don't know something & act like they're a know-it-all if they do. Whatever the path of interaction at the beginning, the ending was always "f**k YOU!"

For the last few years, I've been very much was worried getting together with a woman that either I WOULD like & have a family with her & everything- but it would be something that gets f***ed-up or that I simply couldn't enjoy because of conditions in this country being increasingly menacing & high-maintenance. Or getting together with a woman & having it be a situation of orbiting a stranger or marrying an enemy- that includes my "wife" amounting to a live-in hooker pulling a long con & taking half my shit in a divorce. That would be bad enough on its own, but if there were kids involved..., that would add an entirely new level of severity to the situation. If they're real young, how the f**k am I supposed to raise them with all this going on? They don't get to be happy, just constantly distressed because their parents are always fighting & maybe one is trying to be a trainwreck that drags everyone in the family down with them? Oh, and then the f***ing school can take these kids away from me & further add to things?

I notice that this country is a little like a mule, stacked more toward work than reproduction. Labor over life. Of course, there's no banner flown that says this, there's no official law, there's nothing declared formally- it's just kind of an intangible trend. Which people here seem to think are not real.

[NoahValentine]

i dont think this is a problem ,if he is happy with that

[Ghost]

.

[S_Parc]

i dont think this is a problem ,if he is happy with that

The problem is that losing your virginity changes you, and that when you are a virgin emotional pain hits harder because everything surrounding sex and relationships is mystical. Once you get the monkey off your back and demystify p***y, it clears your mind of certain baggage. You'll never be quite as un-confident as you were when you were a virgin. I wish we had a culture that said that a young man needs to lose it by age 16. Have legal p4p and go get it done with a talented professional who can teach all the positions, but do most of the work for you and also make it a good memory. I think if guys like Tsar had had something like that done for them, they wouldn't end up so dysfunctional. In Tsar's case, he'll probably never break out of this spell because to do so would break his fantasies and he would have to confront sex and marriage and life as it is rather than what he fancies it is.

Ghost, you should save the above response, I couldn't have said it any better.

If anything, the deification of love/sex/relationships and then, not experiencing them during those formative years, is probably what's been creating these mass shooters, ala Holmes, Rodgers, etc.

Once the dream is broken, then reality can set in and a person can grow up. In particular, I'd put the finger on parents, for not knowing this stuff and touting society's BS. I'd already informed a few parents about taking a vacation to Thailand, while their son is in the 17/18 transit period before college. The idea being that the kid could take an escapade to a Soapy massage place while the mother and sisters are out shopping

I believe that you're correct about Tsar, which is why I'd given up trying to change his perspective or even M.O. He's too old and the stage he's stuck at is the mental age of 13/14, where the line between fantasy and reality is completely blurred. Typically, that's the age where one breaks from the dream land of Star Trek/Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/King Arthur to that of the actual world of homework/school, exercise/sports, vocational training, dealing with real ppl, etc. Now, add that to the line of ages 17/18, (where one is suppose to be banging women), and you have a very bad combination for the future. I suspect that unlike Tsar, you'd dealt with the 13/14 issues during your appropriate time frames and that your only delayed situation was the virgin thing, which is why you're doing fine today.

[Tsar]

i dont think this is a problem ,if he is happy with that

The problem is that losing your virginity changes you, and that when you are a virgin emotional pain hits harder because everything surrounding sex and relationships is mystical. Once you get the monkey off your back and demystify p***y, it clears your mind of certain baggage. You'll never be quite as un-confident as you were when you were a virgin. I wish we had a culture that said that a young man needs to lose it by age 16. Have legal p4p and go get it done with a talented professional who can teach all the positions, but do most of the work for you and also make it a good memory. I think if guys like Tsar had had something like that done for them, they wouldn't end up so dysfunctional. In Tsar's case, he'll probably never break out of this spell because to do so would break his fantasies and he would have to confront sex and marriage and life as it is rather than what he fancies it is.

Ghost, you should save the above response, I couldn't have said it any better.

If anything, the deification of love/sex/relationships and then, not experiencing them during those formative years, is probably what's been creating these mass shooters, ala Holmes, Rodgers, etc.

Once the dream is broken, then reality can set in and a person can grow up. In particular, I'd put the finger on parents, for not knowing this stuff and touting society's BS. I'd already informed a few parents about taking a vacation to Thailand, while their son is in the 17/18 transit period before college. The idea being that the kid could take an escapade to a Soapy massage place while the mother and sisters are out shopping

I believe that you're correct about Tsar, which is why I'd given up trying to change his perspective or even M.O. He's too old and the stage he's stuck at is the mental age of 13/14, where the line between fantasy and reality is completely blurred. Typically, that's the age where one breaks from the dream land of Star Trek/Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/King Arthur to that of the actual world of homework/school, exercise/sports, vocational training, dealing with real ppl, etc. Now, add that to the line of ages 17/18, (where one is suppose to be banging women), and you have a very bad combination for the future. I suspect that unlike Tsar, you'd dealt with the 13/14 issues during your appropriate time frames and that your only delayed situation was the virgin thing, which is why you're doing fine today.

What is an M.O.?
Modus Operandi? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modus_operandi

The more time goes on the more I am open to going to Europe and using an escort to just lose my virginity, but I wouldn't ever view such women as anything more than harlots and whores. I have a good website in my favorites for Greek escorts that charge 100 Euro but that seems overpriced if it's per hour.

I just don't know how badly I would feel if I used an escort because I am certain it would damage my pride, ego, and honor. If I lost it to a whore (any girl that has had any form of sex) while I am a virgin, then I lose my honor, not gain a boost to my pride, and damage my ego. I'll explain that below after the next paragraph.

If a man rapes a whore, although that is less damaging (but still in essence damaging) to pride, ego, and honor because because rape is a form of dominance over women regardless of whether they are whores or virgins. So raping a whore and seeing her tears and screams, is better because it's dominance. She will always remember the man that raped her, even if he was wearing a mask or whatever. So Raping a whore is better than having consensual sex with a whore because of dominance and showing the whore she's nothing but something to be used, but paying a whore is more damaging than raping a whore because it in essence says the man is worthless (assuming he is a virgin) and needs to pay to have sex with a female, but anything with a whore is damaging. I know this paragraph is going to be controversial because it's not politically correct and it involves theoretical justifications of rape (which is majorly controversial).

I don't know why you think I confuse reality with fantasy. I know that virgins are rare to find anywhere in the modern world. The past few months I have considered using an escort but I don't know how it would affect me. I want to feel important and feel pride that I can say that my first time was with a virgin girl (and not some other guy's used sloppy second filthy whore which most girls are at the minimum if not amateur porn stars or worse, and at least 25% of women everywhere have or had an STD).

I don't confuse fantasy and reality. What I want is a memorable first time that I can always be proud of but I will admit that I have over the past month or so thought about the idea of just using an escort service if I decide to go to Europe something later this year.

I'd be willing to post a separate thread in the NSFW section of HappierAbroad if you're interested in seeing the Greek escort website and the hot whores that made me more open to the idea (but at the moment still very against losing my virginity to because I want to be able to say that my first time was with a virgin girl, not a whore or an amateur porn star, which most of the time those latter two are synonymous with each other).

Also, I would never date or marry a whore even if I decided to use one of them. Even if I did lose my virginity to a whore, then I'd be willing to have sex with other attractive whores, but there would be no way I'd ever give gifts to a whore, kiss a whore, give a whore pleasure, or marry a whore.

Maybe if someone else were to pay instead of me, then it would be like a gift, which would also make losing it to one of the escorts I feel is attractive less damaging. Since I wouldn't be using my own money and saying I'm worthless to women and need to pay a whore. I think that becoming more open to the idea of sex with an attractive and young (ages 18-28) escort is a relative improvement but I would need to really contemplate how it would influence my pride, ego, and honor and if I want to abandon the idea of being able to say that my first time was with a virgin (and not always know it was with a whore). Also, what's the point of having sex with a whore, if I never had a romantic connection with a girl (and never even had my first kiss). Shouldn't those precede sex with any girl. And even if I had sex with a whore, there's no way I'd kiss such a girl or make it anything more than a whore giving me pleasure. Then there's also the fact I'd need to wear a condom and it would be my first time. I'd rather not wear a condom which is why a virgin is preferable.

But to end it, I would be willing to post a thread on the escort website that I would use if I decided to use such a service assuming I went to Greece and assuming that escort was real (or any escort I decided to use was real) and it wasn't as expensive as I assume it is to use those hot escorts.