Shortage of women in the UK dating arena

[Feldeinsamkeit]

I have repeatedly had the following experience in the UK: Whenever out at a social event, I am painfully aware of how few women between the age of 30-40 there are who are single, let alone slim. This is in contrast to the relative availability of women up to around the age of 18 and above the age of 48 or so. Has anybody else noticed this phenomenon? I have observed this in so many different social contexts over the past year yet I am still unwilling to allow the full enormity of this truth to sink in, lest I go completely stark raving mad as a result. Furthermore, I have noticed that even the most overweight and otherwise aesthetically-challenged women between 18-48 still invariably have partners, whilst there will always be a surplus contingent of decent-looking guys orbitting at such events on the look-out for female company.

Is the UK dating market really as dire as this? Has anybody had any similar experiences?

[Taco]

UK has the least, ugliest and the worst single women of any place I've ever been followed by US and Canada. I you see a good looking women she's probably from another country. However, some of the half cast women are not bad looking. If you date women from a council estate you'll probably need a blood transfusion.

I worked with an English chick when I taught in China. Her UK boyfriend left her for a Chinese.

[The]

Yeah... But Ive heard some playas are having success in London in particular....But they also say that if you go up to Manchester or Liverpool or Essex it would be alot easier to find a bitch....

[mattyman]

RE OP; you say you're from the northeast. Realy doesn't surprise me what you're saying.

Aren't ther any places where foreign women congregate? Until I shoot off to the soutth of Spain next year, my most successful social avenue has been couchsurfing groups. It's a tragic fact that the only UK girls that are actually both sweet, feminine and hot are confined to teenage girls. Thank goodness you can find older girls that have those traits into their upper 20's and 30's from eastern europe and especially, east asia.

It is VERY out of whack. A Spanish girl I met recently commented on the differences in behaviour between men and women in the UK; she said she noticed that the men here seem noticeably more polite than the women and the women act noticeably more rude, and are more caked-in make-up.

But Ive heard some playas are having success in London in particular....But they also say that if you go up to Manchester or Liverpool or Essex it would be alot easier to find a bitch....

Sounds consistent to me. Those cities strike me as the perfect market for players after some cheap shags (well, London has at least a myriad of other nationalities to dilute the ugliness). Certainly not the market for relationship material. Manchester, Liverpool? The beauty? I see holidaymakers from there. My god, I've not seen things so utterly revolting that could pass as women.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

RE OP; you say you're from the northeast. Realy doesn't surprise me what you're saying.

Aren't ther any places where foreign women congregate? Until I shoot off to the soutth of Spain next year, my most successful social avenue has been couchsurfing groups. It's a tragic fact that the only UK girls that are actually both sweet, feminine and hot are confined to teenage girls. Thank goodness you can find older girls that have those traits into their upper 20's and 30's from eastern europe and especially, east asia.

It is VERY out of whack. A Spanish girl I met recently commented on the differences in behaviour between men and women in the UK; she said she noticed that the men here seem noticeably more polite than the women and the women act noticeably more rude, and are more caked-in make-up.

But Ive heard some playas are having success in London in particular....But they also say that if you go up to Manchester or Liverpool or Essex it would be alot easier to find a bitch....

Sounds consistent to me. Those cities strike me as the perfect market for players after some cheap shags (well, London has at least a myriad of other nationalities to dilute the ugliness). Certainly not the market for relationship material. Manchester, Liverpool? The beauty? I see holidaymakers from there. My god, I've not seen things so utterly revolting that could pass as women.

Yes, I am living on Teesside, just outside of Middlesbrough, where the quality of women is, frankly, quite appalling as a rule, even by UK-standards. I can fully understand the sentiments that your Spanish female friend expressed in respect of the asymmetrical relationship between polite men and rude women in the UK, since I've even commented on it myself to others on several occasions, as it is impossible to ignore. But it's not just the obnoxious personality traits of so many of them that depress me, but the sheer lack of availability of women generally: It's almost as if there's a whole missing segment of the female population that you can't meet socially between the age of 30-40, as far as I am concerned. And even if you do encounter one that is possibly single, they normally turn up chaperoned by their friend or a relative as an additional bitch shield and sport a waspish scowl on their face to deter any male approaches - totally out of whack, indeed and is something that I've never encountered with, e.g., ladies from central or eastern Europe.

Although I've never dated US/Canadian women, everything that is asserted about them in general on HA and elsewhere, i.e. their insane level of pickiness, arrogance - especially narcissism, superficiality, et.c. seems to apply equally to women in the UK, especially in England. They certainly seem to feel in demand, too, if the predominance of conceit, haughtiness and - for want of a better overall term - general bitchiness that characterizes them is anything to go by.

Mattymann, you sound like me in many ways, in the sense that you've pretty much given up looking for a local woman and are looking to overseas for a solution, i.e. a wench from the UK - would this be correct? Or are you also open to dating English women, too? As for your question, I've been doing my best to find such social venues that you alluded to - especially in Newcastle-upon-Tyne - where the chance of meeting foreign women exists, although I haven't met them in any quantity thus far to have succeeded in getting into a relationship with any particular one, although the couple of Spanish and Polish women I've met recently blows the lights out in terms of pleasant personality traits when compared with the average English woman, I can tell you that. But it's such a shame that Poles don't seem to have a central place where they congregate in the North East, since I would make a beeline there if that were the case and completely ignore women from the Anglosphere.

When you mentioned couchsurfing groups, did you have Spain in mind or elsewhere, by the way?

[Taco]

RE OP; you say you're from the northeast. Realy doesn't surprise me what you're saying.

Aren't ther any places where foreign women congregate? Until I shoot off to the soutth of Spain next year, my most successful social avenue has been couchsurfing groups. It's a tragic fact that the only UK girls that are actually both sweet, feminine and hot are confined to teenage girls. Thank goodness you can find older girls that have those traits into their upper 20's and 30's from eastern europe and especially, east asia.

It is VERY out of whack. A Spanish girl I met recently commented on the differences in behaviour between men and women in the UK; she said she noticed that the men here seem noticeably more polite than the women and the women act noticeably more rude, and are more caked-in make-up.

But Ive heard some playas are having success in London in particular....But they also say that if you go up to Manchester or Liverpool or Essex it would be alot easier to find a bitch....

Sounds consistent to me. Those cities strike me as the perfect market for players after some cheap shags (well, London has at least a myriad of other nationalities to dilute the ugliness). Certainly not the market for relationship material. Manchester, Liverpool? The beauty? I see holidaymakers from there. My god, I've not seen things so utterly revolting that could pass as women.

Although I've never dated US/Canadian women, everything that is asserted about them in general on HA and elsewhere, i.e. their insane level of pickiness, arrogance - especially narcissism, superficiality, et.c. seems to apply equally to women in the UK, especially in England.

I would say their even worse. US, Canadian, Aussie and Kiwi women have more money(power) and a higher standard of living than UK women. Here's where the most women are.

[publicduende]

I have repeatedly had the following experience in the UK: Whenever out at a social event, I am painfully aware of how few women between the age of 30-40 there are who are single, let alone slim. This is in contrast to the relative availability of women up to around the age of 18 and above the age of 48 or so. Has anybody else noticed this phenomenon? I have observed this in so many different social contexts over the past year yet I am still unwilling to allow the full enormity of this truth to sink in, lest I go completely stark raving mad as a result. Furthermore, I have noticed that even the most overweight and otherwise aesthetically-challenged women between 18-48 still invariably have partners, whilst there will always be a surplus contingent of decent-looking guys orbitting at such events on the look-out for female company.

Is the UK dating market really as dire as this? Has anybody had any similar experiences?

I would say British girls aren't "genetically" bad looking, but they marry and have kids quite young and/or don't take care of their appearance a lot. This probably explains why there is such a massive rift in beauty from university age (17-21) to working professional or stay-at-home mom age.

I live in Buckinghamshire and just yesterday my wife spent a few hours in Marlow, a rather posh town. The amount of girls with blonde hair and blue or green eyes, spotless skin and smooth facial features, slender bodies and classy clothes on them was ridiculously high, even compared to the best areas in London. Trouble is, most of them are too young and/or socio-economically out of reach for average men. Plus, some of them have a high chance to be spoiled by the end of their degrees or as they start fighting for their spot in the industry of their choice.

[lasttry]

I'm really puzzled by the above chart. First, it is common knowledge that there are more baby boys than baby girls, so there should be more men than women for all age groups, unless there is a higher death rate among the men, such as occurs during wartime or after mid-life, when men start dying sooner than women. However, there have been no wars in France recently (or have I been living under a rock?).

Second, isn't it true that more young males immigrate from Africa to Europe than women? That should further increase the excess of males versus female in France, but the chart suggests otherwise.

One possible explanation is that the young French males have all expatriated to London or eastern Germany for better job prospects, but I have my doubts about this. Some have definitely moved to London, but I can't believe a huge number have moved. And why would French men move to eastern Germany, when the best job prospects in Germany are in the west?

The excess of young males over females in rural areas of northern Scandinavia makes perfect sense. Same thing happens everywhere. Young males go to work in those places in the forestry and mining businesses, while young women flee these areas because there is nothing going on there.

Finally, where did you get this chart? I want a similar chart for women in their 40's.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

I have repeatedly had the following experience in the UK: Whenever out at a social event, I am painfully aware of how few women between the age of 30-40 there are who are single, let alone slim. This is in contrast to the relative availability of women up to around the age of 18 and above the age of 48 or so. Has anybody else noticed this phenomenon? I have observed this in so many different social contexts over the past year yet I am still unwilling to allow the full enormity of this truth to sink in, lest I go completely stark raving mad as a result. Furthermore, I have noticed that even the most overweight and otherwise aesthetically-challenged women between 18-48 still invariably have partners, whilst there will always be a surplus contingent of decent-looking guys orbitting at such events on the look-out for female company.

Is the UK dating market really as dire as this? Has anybody had any similar experiences?

I would say British girls aren't "genetically" bad looking, but they marry and have kids quite young and/or don't take care of their appearance a lot. This probably explains why there is such a massive rift in beauty from university age (17-21) to working professional or stay-at-home mom age.

I live in Buckinghamshire and just yesterday my wife spent a few hours in Marlow, a rather posh town. The amount of girls with blonde hair and blue or green eyes, spotless skin and smooth facial features, slender bodies and classy clothes on them was ridiculously high, even compared to the best areas in London. Trouble is, most of them are too young and/or socio-economically out of reach for average men. Plus, some of them have a high chance to be spoiled by the end of their degrees or as they start fighting for their spot in the industry of their choice.

I would tend to agree that many English women are, just as you assert, decent-looking, once one puts aside the hefty discrepancies in weight that afflict many of them - I've got no particular beef on that score. But I'm no teenie bopper any more (not sure I ever was for that matter) and am talking about women in the age range 30-40 where, as I stated, the issue is rather one of sheer unavailability than attractiveness, however you might wish to cash that out, on account of an out-of-whack sex ratio, in which there appear to be many more guys at my age chasing too few women. My post was really an attempt to guage whether there are any other guys on HA - especially resident in the UK - who also think/have experienced the same.

Incidentally, is your wife British?!

[lasttry]

http://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/cache/ ... 135-EN.PDF

On page 45 is a chart showing about 33% of the males 15-24 in the UK are fatties and about 30% of the females 15-25 are fatties (overweight or obese). In the obese subcategory, the males again are worse: about 12% obese versus about 9% for the females. Granted this is the stupid BMI measure of obesity rather than body fat percentage, so maybe there are a lot of males 15-24 who are bulked up bodybuilders. Though I doubt it.

Same thing here in the United States. The young men are in a state of denial about being fat. I was appalled to see some young men at the local university playing touch football shirtless. Jiggling beer bellies everywhere.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

http://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/cache/ ... 135-EN.PDF

On page 45 is a chart showing about 33% of the males 15-24 in the UK are fatties and about 30% of the females 15-25 are fatties (overweight or obese). In the obese subcategory, the males again are worse: about 12% obese versus about 9% for the females. Granted this is the stupid BMI measure of obesity rather than body fat percentage, so maybe there are a lot of males 15-24 who are bulked up bodybuilders. Though I doubt it.

Same thing here in the United States. The young men are in a state of denial about being fat. I was appalled to see some young men at the local university playing touch football shirtless. Jiggling beer bellies everywhere.

Thanks for the stats, lasttry, which are really good to disseminate on a site like - I'm going to take a good look at that EU-produced document later on.

I'm familiar with those particular statistics you referenced, but here in the UK there certainly seems to be far more women who are overweight and obese than fellas, as a percentage of the population, that I can verify "in the flesh" by simply looking out of my window or travelling into town every day. By way of example, and at a conservative estimate, I would say that 50% of the women in my locality are overweight to a noticeable degree.

Interestingly, I once had a Hungarian woman remark to me how in the UK the guys are often in such good shape physically compared to Hungarian men whereas the women are for the most part frumpy to outright obese. As for rushing to dismiss the idea that many guys are bulked-up on steroids - well, in the North East of England the beefcake gorilla look amongst guys is almost de rigeur and, given the level of competition necessary to secure a half-decent looking women in the UK these days, it is not hard to see why this look has become so common amongst guys, either. And there's a twisted logic behind it that works against men: The more women let themselves go as a gender, the harder guys will fight for any woman who is not the most obese, however overweight and unappealing they may still be compared to the rest of the world.

[publicduende]

I would tend to agree that many English women are, just as you assert, decent-looking, once one puts aside the hefty discrepancies in weight that afflict many of them - I've got no particular beef on that score. But I'm no teenie bopper any more (not sure I ever was for that matter) and am talking about women in the age range 30-40 where, as I stated, the issue is rather one of sheer unavailability than attractiveness, however you might wish to cash that out, on account of an out-of-whack sex ratio, in which there appear to be many more guys at my age chasing too few women. My post was really an attempt to guage whether there are any other guys on HA - especially resident in the UK - who also think/have experienced the same.

OK, if you look at the 30-40 age range, of course you will be finding an overwhelming number of women who - no matter how good their genes and how hard they try to stay in shape - will bear the brunt of a few pregnancies and/or a stressful life (family, career, etc.). As you know, in Britain it's hard to support a family on a single salary, unless that salary is well into the 6 figures. I understand your frustration about not finding the hot MILFs you desire, but can you really blame a woman for working hard on a full-time job while juggling a couple of young kids?

This is as far as quality is concerned. If you're talking about sheer (un)availability, then judging from the areas I have lived in (mainly the South East, with a years stint in Birmingham back in 2002) I really don't see an overwhelming majority of men chasing few bad looking and unavailable women. It's all pretty balanced, at least over here.

I still have memories of my nights out in Cambridge and London when I was still a single, or even before when I was a postgrad student. Pubs and bars were packed then as they are now with clusters of 4 or 5 women going out alone, looking for fun. Not commenting on quality as the variance is massive depending on the night, the venue and the company, but I really never saw that much of an unbearable imbalance. I am not a cheap fun/one night stand kind of guy and I like to be flirtatious and touchy-feely without needing to go all the way, but there would always be one or two of the lads with me who were up to it and don't remember them having absolutely any problem cornering one of them for a quick snog, or pop to the toilets or take them home on a night cab.

Just as a random anecdote, a couple of months ago we had a common friend from Helmsley (near York) over for dinner and he told us how depressed and deprived the Middlesbrough area is, compared to the lovelier settings of Whitby and the villages south of Moors Park. I wouldn't be surprised if the quality and quantity of women in your area were negatively biased compared to the more affluent South East.

Incidentally, is your wife British?!

My wife is Colombian.