American mother wants to hide her child's intelligence

[MatureDJ]

This is yet another example of how toxic American society is. A mother wonders if she should hide the fact that her 4 y.o. child is very intelligent, so that she will have a "normal childhood." Of course, intelligence is "nerdy", so to be cool, one needs to be stupid. Idiocracy, here we come!

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear ... es_me.html

[S_Parc]

A century ago, psychologist Boris Sidis, was highly criticized, for sending his prodigy son, Bill Sidis, to Harvard undergrad, at the age of 12.

http://www.sidis.net/Sperling.htm

So this isn't new.

[RedMenace]

I actually agree with her. I think IQ tests are bullsh*t means used to divide people. A genius should not be about some bullsh*t test but based on what one contributes to humanity. Newton or Einstein never took an IQ test but are considered geniuses because of their contribution to mathematics and science. Some geniuses begin to contribute at a very young age and do not need to take an IQ test. Besides I believe intelligence cannot be measured because it its as complicated as the object that produces it.

The kid would have gone down the same path as her mom and be pressured to meet the expectation of others based on a test that is most likely bs. Why not leave the child unaware of their intelligence(If they really are a genius) and let their intelligence develop naturally. If they truly are a genius it will be seen in their achievements not an IQ test. Also some geniuses are slow starters like Einstein or Newton. Say they had taken an IQ test at that time in their life and got an average score. That would have caused them to not strive for knowledge and contribute in the process. They would have just tried to live a normal life like everyone else.

True genius is both a blessing and a curse so why make it worse by adding high expectation in the equation. Never taken an IQ test and I never will. I will make sure my kids don't also.

[Jester]

Good posts.

I agree with Red about avoiding tests and labels. It is an unnatural, lab-rat view of children.

OP - I also skipped grades, then left for college. Yes, it really screwed me up. But the lady is overreacting. A magnet school might be a perfect fit - same-age peers, not all "gifted". Cuts down on petty torment by louts and thugs.

What should be avoided is "Gifted and Talented" program. They pull kids out of regular class and give them extra useless homework, Encourages unbalanced development.

Let the smart kid do their homework FASTER and go out to play SOONER. Encourage achievement, rather than celebrating how smart they are.

[S_Parc]

What should be avoided is "Gifted and Talented" program. They pull kids out of regular class and give them extra useless homework, Encourages unbalanced development.

Let the smart kid do their homework FASTER and go out to play SOONER. Encourage achievement, rather than celebrating how smart they are.

I concur. A friend of mine is doing this with his 'gifted' daughter.

In place of sending her to these obnoxious pre-Math Olympiad training programs, he's having her write her fairy tale short story ideas, so that she's got some fun with her hobbies, outside of ordinary schoolwork.

[S_Parc]

OP - I also skipped grades, then left for college. Yes, it really screwed me up.

Jester, I'm wondering if it would have been better, had you had special tutoring at home, in place of attending a residential university, where that next youngest person is 17?

I believe that physically attending a college, isn't good for someone who isn't already an adult and dealing with those young adult issues like getting drunk, laid, or escaping from the parent's stranglehold.

[Jester]

OP - I also skipped grades, then left for college. Yes, it really screwed me up.

Jester, I'm wondering if it would have been better, had you had special tutoring at home, in place of attending a residential university, where that next youngest person is 17?

I believe that physically attending a college, isn't good for someone who isn't already an adult and dealing with those young adult issues like getting drunk, laid, or escaping from the parent's stranglehold.

I had tutoring in French and Latin from age 11 to 13 or so. Yes it was great. My sister was there with me. In the Latin class the professor's son was there with us too, same age as me. Loved it.

[abcdavid01]

No, I get this. I'm way up there in intelligence and so is my dad, but poor parenting lead to huge amounts of wasted potential on both our parts. I mean, he never resolved his problems and kinda passed them on to me. I never really had that tiger mom shit, but actually I think I'd have in one way appreciated the structure I lacked, on the other resisted how forceful it is. But really it was more like having no parents at all. My dad was a friend and they both provided materially, but I had almost no guidance. When I have a kid, my hope is to get him a mom that actually wants to be one. So I'll tell 'em that since they're my kids they're probably smart as all get out anyway, so they shouldn't care about grades and instead focus on making friends and having fun. Also, religious instruction.

Btw, I went to a Magnet High School and wished I went to the trade school on campus instead. Got into fights in middle school, which might be part of why the parents didn't want me in regular high school, but looking back I don't regret it. The fights I mean. Every guy should get in a fight at least once in his life.

[S_Parc]

Well, I did have sex in college with an AW, so I can't really say anything bad about it.

Despite coming from a very negative family, I did all right as a grown up. Going cold turkey on dating AWs, starting age 24, was a kind of turning point.

[fschmidt]

No one with too high an IQ can survive American culture. In a borderline case, one can discourage intellectual development in order to lower IQ so that the child can fit into America. But over the threshold, the child should simply be removed from American culture or they will not survive. I lost 2 friends because of this.

[abcdavid01]

I think if you're naturally smart there's a point where intellectual development just becomes masturbation. So your time gets better spent learning and doing other things. I don't know if this is minority view (among all intelligent people, parents, kids and single adults) or just something people don't talk about.

[Renata]

I've decided to Home-school my baby. I like calling it Unschooling. I taught my baby to count to 20 in three languages (English, Spanish & Turkish) by playing Hide & Seek. We took turns hiding & counting, it was fun & after 1 week for about 2 hrs per day, my little one learned to count. My strategy is to make it fun & easy. Why does learning have to be so hard & uptight?
Learn through play.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Well I was in AP Chem in 9th grade. Failed the mu.thafucker with a 2/5. Distractions in the POS home. Yeah, but I rather not digress about it anymore.

[Teal Lantern]

Rather than help her kid escape the asylum, she'd rather dumb it down to better fit in with the other inmates.

I am not in the habit of keeping secrets from my husband or denying my child opportunities, so I’m feeling guilty.

Don't worry, Cupcake. With practice, both forms of treachery will get easier.
Your feel-wings are all that matter, anyway.

[Jester]

No, I get this. I'm way up there in intelligence and so is my dad, but poor parenting lead to huge amounts of wasted potential on both our parts. I mean, he never resolved his problems and kinda passed them on to me. I never really had that tiger mom shit, but actually I think I'd have in one way appreciated the structure I lacked, on the other resisted how forceful it is. But really it was more like having no parents at all. My dad was a friend and they both provided materially, but I had almost no guidance. When I have a kid, my hope is to get him a mom that actually wants to be one. So I'll tell 'em that since they're my kids they're probably smart as all get out anyway, so they shouldn't care about grades and instead focus on making friends and having fun. Also, religious instruction.

Btw, I went to a Magnet High School and wished I went to the trade school on campus instead. Got into fights in middle school, which might be part of why the parents didn't want me in regular high school, but looking back I don't regret it. The fights I mean. Every guy should get in a fight at least once in his life.

Gold.