Do most of us have Asperger's or are we just too introverted and freethinking?

[yick]

My turn now seeing as @MarcosZeitola and @hypermak have had their say. very interesting to read as usual, I always enjoying reading what they have to say and they have made good points.

I think that you aren't the average person - but you aren't below or above average either - you have had a lot of unique life experiences and that viewpoint reflects it but you have also been somewhat conformitory - you went to a good university and got a good degree so somewhere along the line you toed the line and did what you were told and got the grades to get to university and graduate - that take allowing yourself to abide by the system - there is nothing wrong with that by the way but you have done it when you have needed to and didn't you have a girlfriend in high school? A Vietnamese beauty? You talk of the holocaust of high school but it didn't sound so bad to me.

You have slept with more women than probably 95% of the male population of the planet, you have probably slept with thousands of women, through you parents hard work and sacrifice, you have a US passport and education - how worse would it have been if you had grown up in Taiwan and then drafted into the army

Also, you explored Russia when it was dangerous for non-white people, when skinheads were killing people like you and beheading them on video in the woods - you just went wherever you want without giving AF - but Roosh - who obviously saw you as a role model, took the carpet from under your feet, he has only stole your idea and made it his own and what have you done about it? He has made money and a name whereas you are the proto-type Roosh - where's your credit for his idea? He is just a f***ing impostor, you are the original.

So you are not average but a lot of it has been down to you being born in the right circumstances - you are the only child of what seems to be two quite wealthy parents, you seem to be kept by them so you have no need to work, they are both still well and healthy - you're quite lucky there, you have a healthy son so you are lucky there too, you can travel and whore away without a care in the world - for some reason, you still don't seem all that happy.

I agree with Rock that you need to start this forum over again, give it a 're-boot' and make it about conspiracy theories, magick, murphy's law and all that other shit you seem to obsess about - nothing wrong with it but the concept of 'Happier Abroad' is dead, or it is dead for now, COVID-19 will mean that anyone going abroad to be happy will have to wait until this clears up, it could take months or years - some people are saying parts of South America will open up late 2021. This will be a good time to give the forum a complete re-boot and concentrate on the things that make your life exciting and interesting.

Rock is right on another thing too - none of us are 'nice guys' because if we were, we would be back home with some fat single mum - expecting my kid alongside the three she already has with different fathers whilst I am working my ass off to feed them all. That is a common scenario and I have rejected it because I know the system screws 'nice guys' and the gutless wonders too afraid to take a chance who are still lingering back home with their unhappy, shit lives. I suppose that takes a selfish mentality and I think we all have that or else we wouldn't be where we are. Being a long term expat means being selfish, living for you and your own experiences and enjoying your life - which I do - but I think it is time your life took on another direction - you have nothing else to prove regards being 'Happier Abroad' you have proven that you have changed your life via this road - there is no need to advertise the warts-an-all aspects of your life. Not all of it is down to you and your intellect and genius but still - you have been a success.

What you obviously want are the accolades that go with it - but not even Van Gogh got those in his lifetime. Be thankful for what you have actually achieved, more so than some boring accountant in West Virginia with his big fat wife and ungrateful kids.

[Winston]

Hypermak,
You misunderstand me i think. Im not seeking validation or praise or to be liked here. Im just arguing that its pretty obvious that im not the typical person u see on the street everyday. Whether you like that or not is up to you. Many dont like me and dont even know why. But whether u like me or not i certainly ain't the average common person u see on the street. Thats all I'm saying and arguing.

See the above eloquent post by Marcos Zeitola. It explains in detail why I'm different from others. Its well written and brings tears to my eyes.

Thats all I'm saying. Not that u have to like me. But i find it odd though that some here like HouseMD feel the need to be condescension toward me. For some its not rational, just a knee jerk reaction. Some people dislike who i am, not what i say. If u remember, scott mallon, American in Bangkok, also disliked me long before i insulted his family. We simply rubbed each other the wrong way like oil and water. He never accepted his responsibility and part in the feud though, because it takes two to start a feud, not one. Many men dont like to accept any blame of course. It goes against the male ego.

As to Rock, he got tired of the forum and felt there was too much conflict and negativity here. Got too toxic for him. But he drops by and observes every now and then. He thinks you're publicduende because your writing style matches his too closely. As for me i dont care about the identity of online personas. I dont have time to care about stuff like that.

[hypermak]

Hypermak,
You misunderstand me i think. Im not seeking validation or praise or to be liked here. Im just arguing that its pretty obvious that im not the typical person u see on the street everyday. Whether you like that or not is up to you. Many dont like me and dont even know why. But whether u like me or not i certainly ain't the average common person u see on the street. Thats all I'm saying and arguing.

See the above eloquent post by Marcos Zeitola. It explains in detail why I'm different from others. Its well written and brings tears to my eyes.

Thats all I'm saying. Not that u have to like me. But i find it odd though that some here like HouseMD feel the need to be condescension toward me. For some its not rational, just a knee jerk reaction. Some people dislike who i am, not what i say. If u remember, scott mallon, American in Bangkok, also disliked me long before i insulted his family. We simply rubbed each other the wrong way like oil and water. He never accepted his responsibility and part in the feud though, because it takes two to start a feud, not one. Many men dont like to accept any blame of course. It goes against the male ego.

@Winston

As I wrote you on an earlier post, I actually like you. At least a majority, if not all, members here like you. They probably like you because you started a movement, one led by example, for that matter. As @yick just said, much of what you did is far from what Average Joe would do in the US or Europe, let alone an Asian country. Of course there are plenty of background reasons that led you to have the life you had, you had a few stars aligned the right way. In the end, you're not the first son of a wealthy Asian-American family and you have chosen not to learn piano at 8, be submerged by extracurricular activities by 12 and a medical doctor by 26.

Like everybody else in here, you are a unique product of your background and, most importantly, your personal choices. Free will does exist because without that free will you would have indeed become another conveyor belt Asian-American professional with two degrees, a wife chosen by the parents, two sons in private schools, a mansion on a 30-year mortgage, 2 cars and a dog. You are indeed "not my average Asian", or "not my average American" and all the material disseminated on this website/forum and social media, vindicates that.

Question is: now that you had at least 6 members on a single thread tell you that, unequivocally, you are special and far from the average mould of Asian-American, what do you want to do about it? How do you plan to use this piece of information? That's where my criticism and perhaps the other posters' comes from.

Looking at what you post and how you reply, it does look like you want to constantly remind us that you're special and different, or maybe be constantly reminded that you're special and different. You seem to be particularly sensitive to the idea that, since you are special and unique, nobody else can be. It stands as a fact that Mrs Zeitola looks quite the knowledge buff and her husband might consider her as special and unique, at least among the vast majority of relatively uneducated and intellectually-empty Filipinos and Filipinas. As @yick said, all of us identify as "misfits", outliers, for one reason or another.

Perhaps all of us are special, in our own sort of way. The point is: our unicity does not negate yours and your unicity does not negate ours. We see little point in you starting a diatribe with @MarcosZeitola because you are afraid that Marcos' wife's "degree of unicity" will overshadow yours, or Dianne's, or crush your conviction that you met a bunch of brain-dead bar girls in Angeles, therefore all Filipinos must be all equally brain-dead. Or debating that Immanuel Kant or Friedrich Hegel are lesser philosophers than Friedrich Nietzsche because they enjoyed higher social respect and academic stature than Nietzsche and their works don't "talk to your heart" as much as Nietzsche's.

I think we all recognise that you have a pretty unique personality and you have led, at least so far, a somewhat unconventional life. If anything, it's kind of disappointing that, despite all the opportunity to develop your personal freedom and enjoy experiencing the world like very few adults can, you preferred sitting in your Taiwan flat and complain that Murphy's Law or some obscure demon is sucking away your resolve. The premises are those of a great adventure story but the ending is a bit underwhelming, you will admit And surely not because of external forces.

In fact, I think @yick said something extremely important when comparing himself with you. If you read the bits about "how he managed to become an expat", you will see how hard it was for him to create the opportunity to fly to Russia to meet his penpals. He had to work terrible jobs and save his last penny, keep his dream well solid in his head, to make it come true. You certainly took the courage to venture to Russia, too, but you had your family's full support, you didn't have to work, you could have gone anywhere you wanted, any time you wanted.

Maybe you should recognise that, if anything, those external forces helped you immensely to make the choices that you made. Quite the opposite of Murphy's Law you like to mention.

Perhaps this is the moment when you need to realise not just how special and unique you are, but how lucky you have been, to have had the freedom to develop yourself as the kind of free-spirited free thinker you are. Perhaps this is the moment for you to see this as a gift not worth wasting away in misery and frustration.

I don't believe the Covid-19 global lockdown will last longer than this year. As soon as frontiers open again, just use that gift and go!

As to Rock, he got tired of the forum and felt there was too much conflict and negativity here. Got too toxic for him. But he drops by and observes every now and then. He thinks you're publicduende because your writing style matches his too closely. As for me i dont care about the identity of online personas. I dont have time to care about stuff like that.

OK, I get it. Same writing style. I love writing in English and I have used this forum to improve it. I am actually pleased with the result, even if my posts were not to be as interesting and entertaining as someone would want them to be.

So far I have been flattered to be compared to Publicduende, since his English was great and I had a chance to meet him in person and he's a great guy. But now it starts to slightly annoy me, that whatever I say, I have to be told that it's not me talking, but him. I don't even know what his opinion on the topics at hand are. Should I care? Should you care?

[yick]

@hypermak Great post! And I want to quote you on something very important that you have just written.

"The point is: our unicity does not negate yours and your unicity does not negate ours."

He has a problem that he isn't unique or unique enough, that someone else might have groundbreaking ideas, of course, many people do which is how the human race evolves but it seems how he will be remembered in history is important , I like Winnie but he seems to think the problems he has suffered are unique, he questioned how great British women are and how can they be the same as American women and then he uses films as examples!

There seems to be quite basic rationale going on with him sometimes!

[Winston]

@yick

Thanks for the nice comments. But your numbers are exaggerated. Lol. I didnt sleep with thousands of girls. Who do u think i am? Wilt Chamberlain? Lol. I slept with maybe between 90 and 110. But most of it was p4p or bar girls. But most guys here believe that if u paid for it then it doesn't count as a conquest. So if u deduct p4p my number comes down to maybe 10 or something.

The vietnamese girlfriend i had was in college, not high school. I had no dates in high school. First date i had was in Taiwan with an older woman in 1990. Lol. I didnt even have friends in high school in the last two years of it. I did have a few casual friends in the first two years but they either fizzled out or were embarrassed to be seen with me because i had a loser status i guess. Even geeks and nerds did not let me into their clique. It's sad but i didnt know back then that after high school there was no more social life.

The vietnamese girlfriend wasnt a beauty. She was just cute and a little charming. Not hot or sexy.

Wow i didnt know you guys remember such little details about me.

Why do you think i inspired rooshv to go abroad? If that were so he would have credited me for it somewhere on his site or travelogues. I am not aware that he was inspired by me. Who told you that? I don't think he likes me much either.

Of course I've created a good site and online persona and am proud of that. But i have a lot of things i need to accomplish and improve or get done. Like:

- update this site to a more modern platform. Not the forum but the other parts of this site. They are way outdated.
- finish writing my books and publishing them in hard copy and on create space or better yet, finding a real publisher for mass distribution in bookstore chains. Lots of stupid new age authors do that so why can't i?
- do more videos and documentaries and learn how to make professional videos with graphics and CGI and special effects using software like sony vegas or something.
- do more podcasts and interviews like other personas on YouTube are doing. Some guys have hundreds of podcasts on YouTube already so im way behind. Group round table podcasts like google hang out or Skype are good too.
- get on alternative media and amateur podcast shows hosted by others, such as truthers or alternative shows. That leads to more invitations from other interviewers once the listeners know who you are. Then u get more even more interview requests.
- create more websites for other topics.

So you see i got a lot more to do and have a lot of trouble organizing time to get all that done. Plus i need to travel more or else i get depressed of i stay at home too long. All the above goals are achievable so they are realistic goals, not like shooting for the moon.

Even if i never get famous in the mainstream media, still i gotta have faith that the universe will send the right people to hear my message if its right for them and they are meant to hear it as part of their path. At least i can get some fame in independent alternative media outlets, that is more achievable of course. So i gotta start small at least.

Thats my situation now. Thats whats on my table. I am also getting depressed too here at home so i need to travel soon or else i cant get anything done if i feel down and in low spirits. Some countries are open now for travel i heard, like Thailand, but i would just need to submit to a 14 day quarantine. That sucks.

Anyway guys. I dont mean to hijack this thread and make it all about me. Lol. From now on lets not use words like "special" ok? Its kind of snobbish to use that word, and carries some negative connotations. Lets just say I'm different from others, unusual and unique, like it or not, and leave it at that. Lol. Im not trying to make it sound like I'm better than anyone. So i hope i don't give you that impression. Lol

[onethousandknives]

I've been officially diagnosed with Aspergers by psychologists. I have NVLD, though, which is right brain hemisphere dysfunction. NVLD makes my verbal IQ really high, and my nonverbal IQ very low. So the nonverbal affects things like visual spatial skills, social skills, emotions, etc. So I do have "Aspergers" but it's symptomatic from my NVLD, which is the real issue. NVLD is a rare disorder, and it's not really able to be treated using psychology, so yeah.

As far as foreign countries. People in foreign countries have Aspergers. I think it depends on culture. For example, something like 30% of Swiss people could qualify as having Aspergers based on questionares they've answered. I don't think this means they have Aspergers, but certain societies someone with Aspergers tendencies will fit into more and others less. Some societies are more forgiving, etc. At least this is my experience being friends with foreigners here in the States. The other thing having Aspergers does is, if you do something dumb in a foreign country, it may be written off as a cultural difference/misunderstanding, and not that you're a bad person. Lastly, I think the "social rules" get explained again, so you might have a better idea of the "rules" in a foreign country because they were clearly explained to you, whereas in your own country you're expected to just pick up on them.

I PERSONALLY think whether or not you have Aspergers isn't something to worry about much unless you can get services to help you (ie, the state's gotten me a good job with their disability program...) There's no use in a diagnosis where it's like "congrats, we can't help you or do anything at all for you." And that's generally what happens with an AS diagnosis. And it's subjective. One psych may tell you that you have AS, another may say you're just "depressed" or whatever. So it's pointless. In my case, I disregarded all my psychological diagnosis until I found out my NVLD one was true, the NVLD diagnosis is a lot easier as it's concretely provable, whereas psychological diagnosis are not.

@onethousandknives what is NVLD? What does it stand for?

What is verbal IQ and non verbal IQ? Is verbal IQ like speaking skills and writing skills, and non verbal IQ is like EQ? I have a little problem with spatial skills too. I cannot play basketball. And I cannot drive at 80 mph safely like everyone else can either. I can drive safely at 65 mph or sometimes 70 mph. But it seems everyone these days can push the gas pedal hard and go 80 mph all the time and not fear crashing or risk crashing, even if the freeway is full of other cars. Even on an open freeway with no cars around, like in the middle of Arizona, I don't feel safe going that fast, nor is it necessary either since I'm trying to enjoy the scenery. I don't understand why everyone feels the need to drive super fast like that. Does that mean I am an Aspie if my wavelength is slower than others and cannot drive safely at 80 mph like normal people can? 65 mph is not too slow, nor is 70 mph of course, but when you drive at that speed in the US everyone passes you up and tail gates you, even drivers of average IQ or low IQ pass you up and can go 80 or 85 mph safely without crashing. How do they do that? I've asked this for years, no one can give me a real answer. No one knows.

Are you able to drive ok with your NVLD? Does your NVLD affect your sensory motor reflexes or coordination?

I am right brained too. Does that mean I may have NVLD? How would they know? Did they do a brain scan or catscan of your brain? Someone in an earlier post said that Aspies are wired differently with different brain structure. Is that unanimously agreed upon or controversial and hotly debated? If they didn't, then isn't it just conjecture or a label slapped onto you? Where do you the draw line between what's real and what's a label of condemnation slapped upon you by those who don't like you?

Yes this whole Aspie thing could be cultural too. For example, in Japan and Taiwan, young people are taught never to express themselves and confidence is a vice, not virtue. Thus every young person acts super shy and weak and repressed. No one is articulate or assertive. Only older folks are sometimes, but never younger folks. You will see that for sure if you go to Japan or Taiwan. That's normal here in Taiwan. So we could say that Taiwanese tend to be Aspies and that is normal to them? But in mainland China, people are taught to be blunt and direct, like American East Coasters and NYers are, so they appear more confident and straightforward than Taiwanese/Japanese, comparatively. I wonder how much of this is genetic or innate. It could be that Asians are naturally more shy and that is their nature? If so, and they are naturally Aspie, then Aspie becomes the norm right? I wonder what the mental health establishment says about that. Probably, they avoid the issue since it's not politically correct to criticize any foreign cultures.

Can an Aspie at least have good customer service skills and answer phones or wait tables and be polite, courteous and professional toward customers? If so, then that is considered normal and functioning right? Not having any social life is not always your fault, if you don't connect with anyone around you, then that's the way it's meant to be, it's not a choice. One cannot force others to be your friends or connect with you, if they don't then they don't. Chemistry or connection is not a choice. It's either natural or it isn't. It can't be forced or "made to happen" if it's not natural right?

Btw I notice some people, like me and Rock, do not talk well in front of a group, but we are good at talking to people one on one. But most people it seems, shine in groups when they are speaking in front of an audience, but one on one they are awkward, not as articulate or assertive as when they are in a group, so they are the reverse of us. Which is more normal?

Hey, wow, it's been a while since I've been on this forum. I was briefly happier and unhappier abroad, and now am unhappy at home mainly because my parents are old and have medical problems now.

Anyway, to answer, I have problems driving, not driving fast, but moreso in traffic, and finding the right time to turn/reflexes and my navigational skills and getting lost. Then again, as a weird compensation I guess, I played a ton of simulation racing games and purposefully would drive fast alone at night. If I picked a main problem, it would be navigation, I get lost everywhere as I tend to just memorize landmarks rather than visually creating a map in my head and intuitively knowing left/right and north/south/east/west. I find for speed I do tend to just cruise in the right lane at 65mph and rarely pass or change lanes, as I just don't see driving as a race. During the peak Corona times I felt very comfortable cruising at 80-85, though. I find caffeine actually helps me drive, and in situations other than trips 5-10 minutes from home during low traffic times I find I'm simply not a safe driver without caffeine acting as a neurological stimulant. It's kind of bad in USA as I need to drive so much, so my caffeine consumption is too high, whereas in Taiwan in Taipei I didn't need to drive, thus I could have a lot less caffeine. Testosterone itself, both raised by supplements, but also living a healthier life with a good diet and exercise also increases my confidence/ability driving and doing most visual spatial things, and even math, because in males testosterone is linked to visual spatial intelligence. If I don't exercise and eat well I find I literally get dumber in those areas.


Sports I'm mostly bad at all ball sports, and have worse than average coordination. I managed to train to be fairly strong at weights and jump high and sprint fast on my own with my own training plan. It can be good for some sports as you can analyze more than most people. The sport I liked most as a kid was judo by far, any kind of sport where it's not a team sport and you can just work on yourself alone at your own pace is best.

For finding out, it's as simple as taking an online verbal IQ test, and an online nonverbal IQ test. School subjects can tell a story, too. I was fantastic in basic arithmetic, but did awful in algebra and geometry, as both of those types of math require you to visualize the math in your head. Basic arithmetic only requires memorization of times tables, which I did fine at. I was also universally considered a good writer in school, got 3rd place in a town spelling bee with no preparation among a 100+ people, etc. Great in history and science, too, as I can just memorize extremely high amounts of information. The "culture fair" IQ tests are purely nonverbal and are things like shapes/etc you need to match up. The specific tests I took are Weschler verbal/nonverbal IQ.

As far as myself personally, I can actually attest to the difference between Taiwan and mainland China. I was in Northern Vietnam which is very similar to mainland China in social skills and how people act (actually I would even say mainlanders are usually less annoying) but in most ways probably more annoying and obnoxious. I did NOT have a good time at all and was severely stressed, marginally more than being back in USA even. Everyone yells at everyone and is loud and extroverted/outgoing as hell, and very blunt and rude. In Taiwan on the other hand it feels downright angelic for me by comparison, just because everyone is meek, shy and quiet, and I feel I can in fact "be myself" there more easily, pretty much how you described for years on this site about the benefits of being happier abroad. On paper when you look up social and cultural differences of mental health and autism, the scientific papers say culturally it can still be recognized, but I'm not really a believer. I heard a lot of social outcast people in Japan would probably be considered pretty normal in USA, and often they're just a bit more loud than normal and that gets them shunned by their peers. I have a good friend in Taiwan now that doesn't socially get on too great in Taiwan, but actually surprisingly had more friends and dated more in USA (and still wants to go back, even though USA is literally on fire) but he's more loud and much more direct than the average Taiwanese person.

As far as customer service and all that, in America I used to have an issue with eye contact, so then randomly as a teenager getting picked on for it, I decided to just start looking everyone directly in the eye and staring them down, now I've reached sort of a middle ground with eye contact? Weirdly I could say I probably have less social anxiety and situational anxiety than most of my peers (I mean, I flew to three countries by myself.) Sometimes I get picked on for just randomly mixing up some social faux paux, but it usually takes a long time for people to recognize that I'm autistic or somehow different, so in fleeting interactions like in business usually I'm good, sometimes I could be a bit more assertive, but oh well. Ultimately I've learned there's not really any "normal" people around anyway, and everyone you meet always has some sort of social issue that to most outside observers wouldn't make sense/be rational once you get to know them. So in this sense I see when other people pick on you for social thing you do wrong, usually the person picking on you has potentially worse issues than you anyway. My sister would always point out what I was doing socially wrong, but she has so much anxiety she's failed her drivers license test 5 times, and couldn't even order food at a restaurant herself until she was 16-17 years old.

[Winston]

Hypermak,

A few comments on something you said above. You said:

Like everybody else in here, you are a unique product of your background and, most importantly, your personal choices. Free will does exist because without that free will you would have indeed become another conveyor belt Asian-American professional with two degrees, a wife chosen by the parents, two sons in private schools, a mansion on a 30-year mortgage, 2 cars and a dog. You are indeed "not my average Asian", or "not my average American" and all the material disseminated on this website/forum and social media, vindicates that.

No I think you misunderstand me again. We seem to be on different wavelengths. I did not choose to be a misfit. I preferred to be normal and liked and to fit in, but it wasn't meant to be. Life did not give me what I originally wanted. I would have preferred to be a normal Asian like you described above. But it was NOT meant to be. So I had to DISCOVER myself and what my destiny was. I don't feel my lifestyle was my choice. It's simply what was available to me since I could not find a wife and career and settle down into a conventional lifestyle. So to me, it's not about choice or free will, it's a process of DISCOVERING who and what I am, gradually in stages of revelation. So again, this is the work of the universe or of DESTINY, not free will. You seem to have it backwards again. Do you understand? How much clearer do I have to explain this?

All this traveling and foreign women crusade and HA stuff, I feel is simply part of my DESTINY and PATH, which was given to me by God or "The Force" as they say in Star Wars. Or part of the script written for my life by higher forces. Do you understand what I mean? So no I don't see how my choices or free will mattered. I simply followed my destiny. Had I gone against my destiny, I would have ran into a wall or been foiled by the universe.

Remember that Bible story about Jonah and the Whale? Well Jonah tried to run away from his destiny and God's will, if you remember. So a storm destroyed his ship and he almost drowned, but was saved by a whale or big fish. So you see, when he went against his destiny, the universe or God BLOCKED him and sent him back to Nineveh where he was supposed to go to deliver a message from God. Remember? That's what I mean. Things go wrong a lot if you are not following your destiny. It's an omen.

Your Roman ancestors knew this. They were wiser than you in many ways. Did you know that? Did you see the post I addressed to you about STOICISM and TAOISM? You didn't reply in it. See here: viewtopic.php?p=345816#p345816

Have I made this clear enough? I've explained this to you many times already but you still don't seem to get it. Similar to publicduende. lol. How uncanny. He also constantly misunderstood me too and made me repeat everything in detail. Like you, he was on a different wavelength, and even with repeated clarification didn't seem to get me.

In fact, I think @yick said something extremely important when comparing himself with you. If you read the bits about "how he managed to become an expat", you will see how hard it was for him to create the opportunity to fly to Russia to meet his penpals. He had to work terrible jobs and save his last penny, keep his dream well solid in his head, to make it come true. You certainly took the courage to venture to Russia, too, but you had your family's full support, you didn't have to work, you could have gone anywhere you wanted, any time you wanted.

Maybe you should recognise that, if anything, those external forces helped you immensely to make the choices that you made. Quite the opposite of Murphy's Law you like to mention.

Perhaps this is the moment when you need to realise not just how special and unique you are, but how lucky you have been, to have had the freedom to develop yourself as the kind of free-spirited free thinker you are. Perhaps this is the moment for you to see this as a gift not worth wasting away in misery and frustration.

I don't believe the Covid-19 global lockdown will last longer than this year. As soon as frontiers open again, just use that gift and go!

Well I did work for a while as a temp for a temp agency and got lucky by getting some good jobs that helped me save up money in 2006 and prior.

I do agree with you though, that external forces or higher forces sometimes helped me out, by giving me good jobs to help me save up money. And provide protection when I needed it. And helped me to go abroad too. I never said that higher forces only did bad things, they can do good things to help you too. For example, I've always said that men like George Washington and Andrew Jackson were divinely protected because they were shielded from death many times, if you study their biography. Perhaps so they could carry out their destiny.

But you seem to have a double standard here. Why do you acknowledge that higher forces can help me in good ways, but you don't acknowledge when they mess up my plans or cause murphy's law? Isn't that a double standard? That's kind of like how Christians will thank God if their sports team wins the game, but will not blame God if they lose. lol. A funny double standard.

Of course during this lockdown, I am trying to get stuff done and making productive use of the time, so I try to get stuff done that I can't do while traveling, so I don't have to worry about it later. I'm sure everyone here is doing that. So I'm trying to get important stuff out of the way first. But the problem is, when you get depressed, you tend to be less productive and exercise less too, and become more sedentary and watch more movies to escape, which is not good for your health. That's the drawback of being with my parents in a country I don't vibe with at all.

Hope you understand me so I don't have to repeat or re-clarify any of this again.

Btw, some countries are available for travel. Brazil is open. So is Egypt. So is Thailand, but you gotta be quarantined for 14 days.

[hypermak]

No I think you misunderstand me again. We seem to be on different wavelengths. I did not choose to be a misfit. I preferred to be normal and liked and to fit in, but it wasn't meant to be. Life did not give me what I originally wanted. I would have preferred to be a normal Asian like you described above. But it was NOT meant to be. So I had to DISCOVER myself and what my destiny was. I don't feel my lifestyle was my choice. It's simply what was available to me since I could not find a wife and career and settle down into a conventional lifestyle. So to me, it's not about choice or free will, it's a process of DISCOVERING who and what I am, gradually in stages of revelation. So again, this is the work of the universe or of DESTINY, not free will. You seem to have it backwards again. Do you understand? How much clearer do I have to explain this?

All this traveling and foreign women crusade and HA stuff, I feel is simply part of my DESTINY and PATH, which was given to me by God or "The Force" as they say in Star Wars. Or part of the script written for my life by higher forces. Do you understand what I mean? So no I don't see how my choices or free will mattered. I simply followed my destiny. Had I gone against my destiny, I would have ran into a wall or been foiled by the universe.

Remember that Bible story about Jonah and the Whale? Well Jonah tried to run away from his destiny and God's will, if you remember. So a storm destroyed his ship and he almost drowned, but was saved by a whale or big fish. So you see, when he went against his destiny, the universe or God BLOCKED him and sent him back to Nineveh where he was supposed to go to deliver a message from God. Remember? That's what I mean. Things go wrong a lot if you are not following your destiny. It's an omen.

Your Roman ancestors knew this. They were wiser than you in many ways. Did you know that? Did you see the post I addressed to you about STOICISM and TAOISM? You didn't reply in it. See here: viewtopic.php?p=345816#p345816

Have I made this clear enough? I've explained this to you many times already but you still don't seem to get it. Similar to publicduende. lol. How uncanny. He also constantly misunderstood me too and made me repeat everything in detail. Like you, he was on a different wavelength, and even with repeated clarification didn't seem to get me.

@Winston, it's not that I don't understand you. I don't agree with you. Please stop patronising me and anybody who doesn't agree with you. I am not stupid if I disagree with you. I understood what you said and disagree with you, at least in part. It's totally normal, in fact it's expected, in a debate. It doesn't mean either of us is wrong or stupid. We're not on the same wavelength, our life experiences don't match, our ideas on what drives our lives, our actions and their results, are not the same.

Personally I never believed that things happen to us "for a reason". Of course many things are outside our control: we don't choose to be born in an affluent part of the US or in the poorest part of Africa. We don't choose to be born in a family of wealthy lawyers or serial child abusers. We don't choose our DNA and even some traits of our personality (if the "birth chart" has to be believed). For everything else the "reason" is us, and nobody else.

I don't know you and your family. From what I read here, you were born into a relatively well-off and certainly loving family. You were a single child. You were probably given all the love and all the opportunities a single child born into an upper-middle class Asian-american family would have.

You say "Life did not give me what I originally wanted.". Well, what did you do to get what you originally wanted? It might just be my own experience, but very little in life just drops on your lap. Most of what we need, and certainly most of what we want, we need to earn it. We need to find the formula, the recipe to get it and then get it. Maybe your teenage years were ruined by the bullying, or maybe some other traumas you had. I don't know.

All I can imagine is that you were given lots of opportunities to go play piano or chess, become a doctor, an engineer, whatever other Taiwanese-American become. Then you discovered that you were meant to explore the world, different cultures, become a traveller, a thinker. That's where I mentioned the "external forces" that helped you. You had your family support, you had someone who embraced your discoveries, who you wanted to be and let you grow into what you wanted to be.

It might sound obvious or silly, but it's anything but. Most people don't get this luxury in life. Again, not wanting to talk about myself but I had to wait until I finished my post-diploma courses and talk to my parents about what a beautiful experience I had, meeting students from other parts of the world, and how good it would be for me to have a similar experience. Even I was lucky: my elder brother didn't have this luxury and has never stopped waking up at 5 to open the shops, roll the dough or the fondant, go to the market like my parents and the rest of our staff.

Well I did work for a while as a temp for a temp agency and got lucky by getting some good jobs that helped me save up money in 2006 and prior.

I do agree with you though, that external forces or higher forces sometimes helped me out, by giving me good jobs to help me save up money. And provide protection when I needed it. And helped me to go abroad too. I never said that higher forces only did bad things, they can do good things to help you too. For example, I've always said that men like George Washington and Andrew Jackson were divinely protected because they were shielded from death many times, if you study their biography. Perhaps so they could carry out their destiny.

That's good to know. Happy that you acknowledge that the forces that seem to drive your life and your destiny didn't only bring you misfortune and frustration, but also opportunity.

But you seem to have a double standard here. Why do you acknowledge that higher forces can help me in good ways, but you don't acknowledge when they mess up my plans or cause murphy's law? Isn't that a double standard? That's kind of like how Christians will thank God if their sports team wins the game, but will not blame God if they lose. lol. A funny double standard.

I never said that. I am saying that you need to be objective. You received much good from life. Some of the unfortunate things that happened to you, and perhaps keep happening, are caused by your choices. If you don't acknowledge this last point, I think you will never be able to sit on the driving seat of your life and drive it where you want, or need, or like.

Of course during this lockdown, I am trying to get stuff done and making productive use of the time, so I try to get stuff done that I can't do while traveling, so I don't have to worry about it later. I'm sure everyone here is doing that. So I'm trying to get important stuff out of the way first. But the problem is, when you get depressed, you tend to be less productive and exercise less too, and become more sedentary and watch more movies to escape, which is not good for your health. That's the drawback of being with my parents in a country I don't vibe with at all.

Hope you understand me so I don't have to repeat or re-clarify any of this again.

Btw, some countries are available for travel. Brazil is open. So is Egypt. So is Thailand, but you gotta be quarantined for 14 days.

That's very understandable. Taiwan just isn't the place for you and the lockdown is just making things more boring and frustrating. One can only hope that, once this Covid situation will ease itself, you will be in the position to change your life the way you want.

[Falcon]

Rock says he thinks I'm special too and one of his Filipina girlfriends thinks so too. See below. Rock is also wondering why you guys are so negative and grumpy nowadays? Lol. Happy people don't act like that. See our discussion below.

Where is Rock still active? Shoot me a PM.
I haven't talked to you guys in years and want to know how you're all doing.

[Falcon]

Most people on this forum aren't anywhere intelligent enough to have a mental illness that allows one to focus on a single subject and become develop skills that would enable you to have a lucrative career in programming, science or the IT sector. Maybe at most they'd be the lower-functioning step on the autistic spectrum who collects stamps or little model trains and obsesses over a single subject that won't get them any cash or recognition. They just get the social awkwardness, trouble establishing or getting in or maintaining relationships and general bad vibes. Doesn't know when to shut it.

It's been observed that about 50% of "English teachers" in Asia are on the autistic spectrum. No brilliance to be found, but a whole lot of social retardation and general awkwardness.

No one here, not a single person on HA (myself included) is "too intellectual". That's just a sorry excuse. There's a lot more stupidity here than there is genius, just like in the general population. The problem is all the idiots thinking they're geniuses, because many of them are coddled only children... again, Winston... well-off, only child. Special snowflake. The 'only original thinker from Asia'.

There are a quite a few forum members like Momopi, Rock, PublicDuende, and others with highly employable skills who have had great high-paying careers. But naturally, they don't post too much because they're too busy with their careers. Same with me.

As for the others, it's simply self-selection. Which types will naturally post more on Internet forums all day long?

[Gali]

Sometimes it seems that just 5% of the personality makes the person a problematic and difficult one. So one might look at the bottlenecks and blindspots to get things going.

Here is a developement model from spiral dynamics about growing:

https://www.pinterest.pt/LuisGonzagacom ... -dynamics/

[HouseMD]

Hypermak,
You misunderstand me i think. Im not seeking validation or praise or to be liked here. Im just arguing that its pretty obvious that im not the typical person u see on the street everyday. Whether you like that or not is up to you. Many dont like me and dont even know why. But whether u like me or not i certainly ain't the average common person u see on the street. Thats all I'm saying and arguing.

See the above eloquent post by Marcos Zeitola. It explains in detail why I'm different from others. Its well written and brings tears to my eyes.

Thats all I'm saying. Not that u have to like me. But i find it odd though that some here like HouseMD feel the need to be condescension toward me. For some its not rational, just a knee jerk reaction. Some people dislike who i am, not what i say. If u remember, scott mallon, American in Bangkok, also disliked me long before i insulted his family. We simply rubbed each other the wrong way like oil and water. He never accepted his responsibility and part in the feud though, because it takes two to start a feud, not one. Many men dont like to accept any blame of course. It goes against the male ego.

As to Rock, he got tired of the forum and felt there was too much conflict and negativity here. Got too toxic for him. But he drops by and observes every now and then. He thinks you're publicduende because your writing style matches his too closely. As for me i dont care about the identity of online personas. I dont have time to care about stuff like that.

I only get condescending with fools that don't recognize their own foolishness when it's plain for all to see. It's just painful too see such misguided smugness and superiority

[HouseMD]

Hypermak,

A few comments on something you said above. You said:

Like everybody else in here, you are a unique product of your background and, most importantly, your personal choices. Free will does exist because without that free will you would have indeed become another conveyor belt Asian-American professional with two degrees, a wife chosen by the parents, two sons in private schools, a mansion on a 30-year mortgage, 2 cars and a dog. You are indeed "not my average Asian", or "not my average American" and all the material disseminated on this website/forum and social media, vindicates that.

No I think you misunderstand me again. We seem to be on different wavelengths. I did not choose to be a misfit. I preferred to be normal and liked and to fit in, but it wasn't meant to be. Life did not give me what I originally wanted. I would have preferred to be a normal Asian like you described above. But it was NOT meant to be. So I had to DISCOVER myself and what my destiny was. I don't feel my lifestyle was my choice. It's simply what was available to me since I could not find a wife and career and settle down into a conventional lifestyle. So to me, it's not about choice or free will, it's a process of DISCOVERING who and what I am, gradually in stages of revelation. So again, this is the work of the universe or of DESTINY, not free will. You seem to have it backwards again. Do you understand? How much clearer do I have to explain this?

All this traveling and foreign women crusade and HA stuff, I feel is simply part of my DESTINY and PATH, which was given to me by God or "The Force" as they say in Star Wars. Or part of the script written for my life by higher forces. Do you understand what I mean? So no I don't see how my choices or free will mattered. I simply followed my destiny. Had I gone against my destiny, I would have ran into a wall or been foiled by the universe.

Remember that Bible story about Jonah and the Whale? Well Jonah tried to run away from his destiny and God's will, if you remember. So a storm destroyed his ship and he almost drowned, but was saved by a whale or big fish. So you see, when he went against his destiny, the universe or God BLOCKED him and sent him back to Nineveh where he was supposed to go to deliver a message from God. Remember? That's what I mean. Things go wrong a lot if you are not following your destiny. It's an omen.

Your Roman ancestors knew this. They were wiser than you in many ways. Did you know that? Did you see the post I addressed to you about STOICISM and TAOISM? You didn't reply in it. See here: viewtopic.php?p=345816#p345816

Have I made this clear enough? I've explained this to you many times already but you still don't seem to get it. Similar to publicduende. lol. How uncanny. He also constantly misunderstood me too and made me repeat everything in detail. Like you, he was on a different wavelength, and even with repeated clarification didn't seem to get me.

In fact, I think @yick said something extremely important when comparing himself with you. If you read the bits about "how he managed to become an expat", you will see how hard it was for him to create the opportunity to fly to Russia to meet his penpals. He had to work terrible jobs and save his last penny, keep his dream well solid in his head, to make it come true. You certainly took the courage to venture to Russia, too, but you had your family's full support, you didn't have to work, you could have gone anywhere you wanted, any time you wanted.

Maybe you should recognise that, if anything, those external forces helped you immensely to make the choices that you made. Quite the opposite of Murphy's Law you like to mention.

Perhaps this is the moment when you need to realise not just how special and unique you are, but how lucky you have been, to have had the freedom to develop yourself as the kind of free-spirited free thinker you are. Perhaps this is the moment for you to see this as a gift not worth wasting away in misery and frustration.

I don't believe the Covid-19 global lockdown will last longer than this year. As soon as frontiers open again, just use that gift and go!

Well I did work for a while as a temp for a temp agency and got lucky by getting some good jobs that helped me save up money in 2006 and prior.

I do agree with you though, that external forces or higher forces sometimes helped me out, by giving me good jobs to help me save up money. And provide protection when I needed it. And helped me to go abroad too. I never said that higher forces only did bad things, they can do good things to help you too. For example, I've always said that men like George Washington and Andrew Jackson were divinely protected because they were shielded from death many times, if you study their biography. Perhaps so they could carry out their destiny.

But you seem to have a double standard here. Why do you acknowledge that higher forces can help me in good ways, but you don't acknowledge when they mess up my plans or cause murphy's law? Isn't that a double standard? That's kind of like how Christians will thank God if their sports team wins the game, but will not blame God if they lose. lol. A funny double standard.

Of course during this lockdown, I am trying to get stuff done and making productive use of the time, so I try to get stuff done that I can't do while traveling, so I don't have to worry about it later. I'm sure everyone here is doing that. So I'm trying to get important stuff out of the way first. But the problem is, when you get depressed, you tend to be less productive and exercise less too, and become more sedentary and watch more movies to escape, which is not good for your health. That's the drawback of being with my parents in a country I don't vibe with at all.

Hope you understand me so I don't have to repeat or re-clarify any of this again.

Btw, some countries are available for travel. Brazil is open. So is Egypt. So is Thailand, but you gotta be quarantined for 14 days.

You confuse necessity with destiny. If a man with one arm learns to button his shirt with one hand, it wasn't his destiny to button his shirt this way, it was an adaptation made out of necessity. People do what they must to make the best of their lives. Those who thrive use what is available to them to the best of their abilities. Lamenting not having other abilities and trying to mimic them while neglecting your own innate qualities is, as the Tao would say, like swimming upstream. You're a wacky loon that probably sounds fascinating to someone who doesn't natively speak your language, that can easily confuse odd speech for wisdom. Going abroad was thus maximizing your exoticism which you could leverage to satisfy your rather simple desires for affection, attention, and sex. In that manner you've played your hand well

[Italianman]

Do you think most of us have Asperger's syndrome? Is that why we don't fit into America, even though we are more deep and intellectual than average?

Does Asperger's even exist? Is it a biochemical imbalance or just a label that society slaps onto misfits?

What are the exact symptoms of Asperger's? Just anyone who doesn't fit into groups or can't communicate well? Is that all? If so, couldn't that be due to introversion and wanting freedom of mind too?

Or are we just introverted types who think on a deeper wavelength than most?

What's the difference between Asperger's and introversion?

I heard that in other countries, misfits aren't slapped with such a label. Is that true? Does Asperger's exist outside the USA?

Yes, it's completely obvious that you're autistic and so are most of the registered users here. As I said before: Unfortunately, Autism is a devastating disorder, since it disrupts not only understanding others and their social relationships, but also self-understanding. Although autism is predominantly associated with social deficiencies, 'there is, of course, a long-standing tradition – expressed in the very word 'autism' from the Greek word 'self-autos' – to consider it as a condition of self-understanding.' To the degree that individuals with ASD are distinguished by low self-understanding in three key capacities: (1) capacity to introspect their inner thoughts and feelings; (2) capacity to use ideas and language that are vital to building self-knowledge; and/or ( 3) ability to participate in social experiences that advance self-knowledge through the opportunity to internalize others views of them.

Thus, to the extent that individuals with ASD have difficulty understanding or gleaning the emotions , feelings, motives, motivations, values , behaviors, etc. of others, they are assumed to lack immediate relationship with their own, even having to infer them from their own actions in the same static, rule-based manner they apply to others. This disorder, called "mindblindness," was inferred from findings such as that high-functioning individuals with ASD do not report second-order thoughts when questioned about their mental material, but rather appear to express visual images more related to first-order experience, and that brain regions related to introspection and mentalization that overlap either function abnormally in individuals with ASD or give rise, when damaged, to characteristics consistent with the disorder.

The second, less serious, perspective indicates that people with ASD may not lack introspective capacity but the ability to use meta-representational concepts required to grasp and coordinate their introspection. This deficit — called "conceptual incompetence"—should hinder individuals with ASD's ability to form conceptually complex and elaborate representations of their personal attributes, let alone accurate ones. That is, if individuals with ASD can not crystallize their self-reflections, they may be less able to establish, over time, the richly linked semanthemantic and experiential connections that lead to self-knowledge and reporting. Consistent with this possibility, individuals with ASD are also characterized by alexithymia – simply meaning "not having words for feelings" – and have trouble expressing their emotional experience while displaying other normal emotional reactions.

Asperger syndrome and "truth-telling".

Asperger syndrome (AS) individuals depend heavily on rules that are often unchangeable. The one thing few understand and really take to heart is that almost all rules allow exceptions to be made. In certain situations, simple rules may be possible when a given rule does not apply. With their encyclopedic databases and given ample time to sift their view of a situation using those guidelines, AS individuals can take an almost infinite number of sub-rules and find the socially acceptable solution. Operating words in such situations are "data base" and "given enough time."

AS kids start building their database early to determine the correct course of action in difficult situations. They are taught to tell the truth applying their unsophisticated understanding of rules uncritically to anyone of any age or authority level. Many childhood games and much of childhood social life are based on imagination, trickery, deceit, the dynamics of telling and keeping secrets, and developing an increasingly sophisticated understanding of others' weaknesses. AS kids don't understand, revealing secrets and lies and keeping them away from others is the foundation of most early social bonding. They don't understand that sometimes suppressing the truth is what holds a connection together.

Asperger Syndrome kids generally dislike games that develop these skills. They prefer role-plays, games whose scripts and acts of characters are predictable, even if they're bad actions. They hate direct lies. They dislike being told half the truth, especially if they feel something is being held back from them. They're frank in describing people and events, often brutally.

The problem with AS kids and many AS adults is that they don't have a "escape valve" to work their way out of immediate dilemmas, fudging or being indirect with more words when a few, simple words do perfectly well. These words hurt, and their words also cause them serious trouble. Such terms blow off future "mates". Violate confidences. Erode confidence. They make the person uttering them an unsafe person to be around.

Nobody, but an AS human, always enjoys absolute and incredible honesty. Almost from the time we are placed next to another child, with or without language, certain things are best not done or not said. AS individuals have to learn this idea through rough and painful lessons.

While many AS adults remain naïve and gullible, they aren’t super stupid like you. Rather than lie, they may remain silent about a situation. If they aren’t particularly talkative, that’s where things remain with them. Many of the signs of AS are so subtle and mercurial in children that they are overlooked altogether, despite caregivers’ insistence that the child demonstrates the “missing” behavior all the time under real life, rather than office-visit conditions.

Hope that helps you understand your condition

[Italianman]

Hypermak,
You misunderstand me i think. Im not seeking validation or praise or to be liked here. Im just arguing that its pretty obvious that im not the typical person u see on the street everyday. Whether you like that or not is up to you. Many dont like me and dont even know why. But whether u like me or not i certainly ain't the average common person u see on the street. Thats all I'm saying and arguing.

See the above eloquent post by Marcos Zeitola. It explains in detail why I'm different from others. Its well written and brings tears to my eyes.

Thats all I'm saying. Not that u have to like me. But i find it odd though that some here like HouseMD feel the need to be condescension toward me. For some its not rational, just a knee jerk reaction. Some people dislike who i am, not what i say. If u remember, scott mallon, American in Bangkok, also disliked me long before i insulted his family. We simply rubbed each other the wrong way like oil and water. He never accepted his responsibility and part in the feud though, because it takes two to start a feud, not one. Many men dont like to accept any blame of course. It goes against the male ego.

As to Rock, he got tired of the forum and felt there was too much conflict and negativity here. Got too toxic for him. But he drops by and observes every now and then. He thinks you're publicduende because your writing style matches his too closely. As for me i dont care about the identity of online personas. I dont have time to care about stuff like that.

I only get condescending with fools that don't recognize their own foolishness when it's plain for all to see. It's just painful too see such misguided smugness and superiority

He's autistic [see above] he doesn't understand you. His mind works differently from normal people. He doesn't understand that being too introverted, "authentic" and "intellectual" = autism.



Unfortunately, at a younger age, he did not receive necessary probiotics and counseling to correct this disorder. 40 years ago autism was poorly understood. Typically, developing infants are social beings—early in life they do such things as gaze at people, turn toward voices, grasp a finger, and even smile. In contrast, most autistic children prefer objects to faces and seem to have tremendous difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interaction. Even in the first few months of life, many seem indifferent to other people because they avoid eye contact and do not interact with them as often as non-autistic children. Although not universal, it is common for autistic people to not regulate their behavior. This can take the form of crying or verbal outbursts that may seem out of proportion to the situation.

Children with autism often appear to prefer being alone to the company of others and may passively accept such things as hugs and cuddling without reciprocating, or resist attention altogether. Children with autism appear to lack "theory of mind", the ability to see things from another person's perspective, a behavior cited as exclusive to human beings above the age of five. Typical 5-year-olds can develop insights into other people's different knowledge, feelings, and intentions, interpretations based upon social cues (e.g., gestures, facial expressions). An individual with autism seems to lack these interpretation skills, an inability that leaves them unable to predict or understand other people's actions.

Communication difficulties

Once given appropriate accommodations, many autistics will happily converse for hours, and can often be found in online chat rooms, discussion boards or websites. Many people with autism have a strong tonal sense, and can often understand spoken language. Some children may exhibit only slight delays in language, or even seem to have precocious language and unusually large vocabularies, but have great difficulty in sustaining typical conversations. The "give and take" of non-autistic conversation is hard for them, although they often carry on a monologue on a favorite subject, giving no one else an opportunity to comment. When given the chance to converse with other autistics, they comfortably do so in "parallel monologue"—taking turns expressing views and information. Just as "neurotypicals" (people without autism) have trouble understanding autistic body languages, vocal tones, or phraseology, people with autism similarly have trouble with such things in people without autism. In particular, autistic language abilities tend to be highly literal; people without autism often inappropriately attribute hidden meaning to what people with autism say or expect the person with autism to sense such unstated meaning in their own words.

The body language of people with autism can be difficult for other people to understand. Facial expressions, movements, and gestures may be easily understood by some other people with autism, but do not match those used by other people. Also, their tone of voice has a much more subtle inflection in reflecting their feelings, and the auditory system of a person without autism often cannot sense the fluctuations. What seems to non-autistic people like a high-pitched, sing-song, or flat, robot-like voice is common in autistic children. Some autistic children with relatively good language skills speak like little adults, rather than communicating at their current age level, which is one of the things that can lead to problems.

Since non-autistic people are often unfamiliar with the autistic body language, and since autistic natural language may not tend towards speech, autistic people often struggle to let other people know what they need. As anybody might do in such a situation, they may scream in frustration or resort to grabbing what they want. While waiting for non-autistic people to learn to communicate with them, people with autism do whatever they can to get through to them. Communication difficulties may contribute to autistic people becoming socially anxious or depressed.