Yea, these types of guys should teach PU courses to older guys who wanna date young women. The only guy I know of who has done this so far is Don Steele and from what I've seen on Youtube, his seminars are a joke. That Sodini guy who killed 3 women in his gym then committed suicide was a Steele disciple so watch-out.MrPeabody wrote:davewe wrote:For those who have not seen it much, I believe it exists much more than you think, even in the U.S. Several guys on this forum have already weighed in about their much younger wives/gfs. I am far from a player or PUA but even in the U.S. my last 2 gfs were 20 years younger than me. In each case, they had already had older bfs before and thought nothing of it.
Why is it less visible? For one thing, in this culture older people are less visible in general. For another, older men are often more discrete and find it less necessary to parade their gfs around in public. And for another the girls are also discrete. My younger gf did not introduce me to the parents, relatives or BFFs, and I did not introduce her to my kids. We knew it was not leading to marriage, so why invoke any parental or societal shaming. Today we are best friends and sometime FWBs and thats how we like it.
A generation or 2 ago this dynamic was more open in the West. My grandfather divorced my grandmother at 50 and ended up marrying a woman 20+ years younger, who was beautiful, elegant (almost regal) and towered over him (he was 5'4"). In the 20 + years they were married before his death I never heard anyone question it. In that generation it was obvious why a younger beautiful woman wanted my grandfather: he was dynamic, powerful, built a business from nothing, and while not wealthy, had a nice lifestyle. In that generation few women worked, and providing a good life was the responsibilty of the man. I am confident my grandfather had lots of options!
My cousin revered him and wanted to create a life just like his. Today my cousin is 60 or 61 and married to a woman 30 years younger. No one questions it. My cousin is dynamic, powerful and successful. All she asked of him was that he give her a baby and she would take care of it. They have a 2 year old.
I guess I got my grandfathers genetics as well!! My motto is: I never date within my generation.
One reason that it seems a bit rare is that many people want a relationship with someone of their own time and place. Personally I do not need to share with anyone my age when I first saw the Beatles. I am happy to hear about my younger gfs culture and find the difference compelling. But thats me. But most of my friends are happy to pursue women closer to their age. Its their preference but I think my preference has its advantages also.
Your background sounds similar to mine. After my grandmother died, my grandfather went back to Italy and married a much younger woman. My Colombian ex was 20 years younger than me, and in Colombia that is not considered a significant difference. She also had bfs my age when she lived in Colombia. There are women who want older men. You just have to find them. Also, the women tend to by slightly more rebellious, intelligent, and able to think outside the box. Many times they grew up with a distant or unavailable father. When I was in Ukraine, I met an American man from West Virginia in his 50s who would go to the public library or post office and pick up young college women even though he couldn't speak a word of Russian or Ukrainian. Some guys just know how to do it.
As for Colombia, I also heard that women there were less ageist. But in the cities where I spent a lot of time - Cali, Cartagena, and Medellin - I almost never saw large age gap couples. Of the gringos I knew there, the ones who did well with young women tended to be in their late 20s to mid-30s. The 40 somethings were still able to date 20 somethings, but not the best ones. The young women they got with usually had babies and were pushing 30 if not already beyond. And the 50 somethings dated single 30 something mothers who often seemed prematurely aged. However, Colombia does have a lot of reasonably priced small P4P venues where age is not going to be much of a problem if you just want sex.
Having said that, one local girl I know there married a much older (gringo) man. She was just 21 and he was like 52. But she was given most of the power in the relationship (that's part of why she agreed) and was allowed to go out freely with her young friends, pretend to be single on dating sites, hook-up with other guys and have romantic relationships with them, etc. I even caught up with her in the States a couple years after the marriage and she was still living that kind of dual life.