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HAPPIER
ABROAD Why
You Will Have A Better Love and Life Beyond
Propaganda vs. Real Life in
“America
is a country that is built for doing
business, not living life.“
- an Asian
American Expat in Europe
"Everything you
wrote in your treatise is precisely to the point… It took me a
while to realize
that there was a chasm of difference between the media picture of
America and
real life, but when the truth hit home, I felt very disappointed and
empty. I
even had a lapse of self-condemnation as I thought the problem was in
me. I
have gotten over it now and can see clearly. Your writing puts all the
pieces
of the puzzle together very well." - Yuri, Russian immigrant
As we all
know, the media propaganda image in
However,
despite this image, here's the big picture
about how things work in
In
reality, the majority of people in this country
live in slavery to their jobs just so they can keep up with
never-ending bills
and make ends meet. They never live the American dream. And
the
myth of “individual freedom” for all in
In fact,
here is what the typical life of the typical
married man in
The life of the typical
married American
man:
“He has a wife, some kids, a mortgaged
house, two cars
or SUV’s, many bills to pay, and a stable job to support all of
it. Each
morning, he and his wife get up, get the kids ready for school, make
coffee,
and then they both go to work (or at least he does). After a 8-9
hour
workday, he comes home and tries to relax in front of the TV, but often
has
very little time to do so, because he might have to help make dinner,
talk to
his wife and kids (which usually consists of clicheish pep talk around
the
dinner table), help do household chores, help the kids with their
homework, get
the kids ready for bed, and then go to bed himself, often still
exhausted. The next day, the same routine simply starts all over
again.
On weekends, he gets a little more freedom,
but not by
much. Instead, he has to spend a large part of the weekend
catching up on
household chores, cleaning the house, or doing yard work. If he
can
manage to do a family outing, it is often too stressful to enjoy.
Not
only does he have to constantly watch and discipline the kids from
getting out
of hand, but he has to think about his budget for the family outing,
driving
and planning where to go, humoring the kids, lecturing them and giving
them
clicheish pep talk, making sure his wife is pleased with the outing
too, and
making sure they get back home in time before the kids’
bedtime. That’s
why these family outings are usually exhausting and more stressful than
fun.
Sometimes, he and his wife also go out to
social
events sponsored by schools, companies, churches or the
community. But
even then, these events tend to be rigid, routine, dull and
clicheish. In
addition, around the people at these events, he puts on a contrived
pleasant
face to be polite, regardless of whether he likes them or not, and
others at
the events do the same to him as well. People at these events
don’t
deeply enjoy them. Instead, they simply pretend to. Deep
down, they
know it is just a light distraction from the routine monotony of their
daily
lives.
In the background of all this are the
constant
pressures and demands of the bills he has to keep up with as well as
the
savings he has to allocate. He has to deal with the big house
mortgage
payments, utility bills, taxes, car insurance payments, medical
insurance bills
(unless his company pays all or most of it), food and gas expenditures,
credit
card bills, entertainment/luxury item expenditures, the needs and wants
of his
kids and wife, etc. In addition to all this, he has to also try
to save
up some money for his retirement or his kids’ college fund.
Each day that goes by, each week, each month,
each
year, etc. is pretty much like the above. That’s life for
him.
Eventually, he may start asking himself “Is this what life is all
about?
Is this all there is?” Then he may start feeling like a
robot leadin
chanized life with no freedom. Not only is he a slave to his
company, but
he is a slave to his wife, kids, house, cars and bills as well.
Sadly he
learns that there is no true freedom in all this. Not only is
this life
routine and stressful, but mind-numbing as well. Eventually, he
may start
to long for the life he had before when he was single and could do
whatever he
wanted without his current stresses that enslave him. He may long
for the
time when he was young and single and could choose from many paths in
life
without anyone tying him down, as well as his freedom to pursue or love
conquests with new and exciting women. He may still love his wife
and
have affection for her, but the romance and passion may be long gone,
and they
stay together simply for financial commitments and for the sake of the
kids. In fact, he may even start to envy the life of the
traveling
backpackers to overseas countries who, although are poor and on a
budget,
nevertheless live a life of adventure and mind-expanding freedom.
To cope with this mind numbing routine and
stress, he
may find ways to distract himself. He may seek acceptable forms
of escape
such as becoming a sports fan and watching football, baseball, or
basketball. These spectator sports provide a temporary
distraction from
his inner emptiness. Or he may develop other hobbies such as
reading, or
becoming a handyman on cars and houses (like Tim Allen does on the
sitcom Home
Improvement). And of course, he must constantly convince himself
that his
life has meaning because he is doing what God and his country told him
he is
supposed to do by raising a family, and that it is all for the good of
his kids
and wife who are depending on him. No matter how dull, stressful,
or mind
numbing his life is, that’s what he has got to tell himself every
day in order
to tolerate and endure his conditions.”
The above
is a sad grim picture but this is the case
with many American males, and this is all underreported by our media of
course. Some may find this routine lifestyle comfortable, but
others
loathe it because they realize that their minds and souls will never be
expanded by it, but instead contracted into robotic conformity without
freedom.
Even some
American women and suburban soccer moms
living the American dream feel the same way, as in the case of this
lady who
wrote me:
“Dear
Winston:
I
have never responded to a blog before or whatever they are
called. I
found your essay about american consumerism on planet essay and was
inspired to
write to you.
As
I read your essay I felt like you were telling my story, except that I
am a 40
year old female living in
Do
you have any advice?”
(My
response: Not really,
unfortunately. You just have to find
every opportunity you can to do what you love and try to maintain a
healthy
balance between your other priorities, as well as a workable compromise. In the meantime, you can try to live
vicariously through people like me :))
Our
“culture” is completely based on HYPE and
CONSUMERISM along with EXCESS CONSUMPTION.
Life is all about what you can BUY next.
And that’s why mainstream Americans do not seem as evolved
or
enlightened as mainstream Europeans for example, to put it bluntly (no
offense
to anyone intended). Europeans in general obviously have a lot
more soul
and intellect than average Americans, particularly among the young
population.
In
reality, there are few redeeming qualities to
living in
First, a
Russian girl from
“To be honest i don't like
Next, an
Asian American reader gave this conclusion of
life in
“Winston,
Interesting to read your writing on
Regards,
*** ****
NJ”
Interestingly
enough, a Russian immigrant who read an
earlier version of this treatise, had a bout with self-condemnation
before he
becoming enlightened:
“Anyway, to cut a long
story short,
everything you wrote in your treatise is precisely to the point. I am a
Russian
who has lived in the States long enough to know. I came to the country
expecting to find some flavor, as I had been able to do in
I took me a while to realize that there was a chasm of difference
between the
media picture of
And an
African American man on my list vociferated:
“You can tell most
people in other parts
of the world are more cultured and morally more disciplined than most
Americans. Most Americans think possessing material wealth is being
cultured,
and that they are socially more superior than other races…What
an ILLUSION in
their mind!!... They unfortunately so believe their illusions they fail
to
realize they are dead WRONG!
Similarly,
a Russian American male immigrant I know
had this to say in response to my observation that US women are the
least
friendly to strangers and the most paranoid in the world.
“Hey Winston.
It is good you noticed the difference. But it is not only women
it is all
americans are very different. Americans have empty eyes.
Even those
people on TV. Because there is no soul in this country only
money.“
Back in
college, a Greek friend used to often tell
me:
“Americans have no inner
life. All they do is consume!”
Suffice to
say, an “inner life” isn’t something that
can be quantified or described with mere words.
Those who have it know what it is.
And those who don’t have one, can’t see one with a
mere description.
Perceptions
like in the above are a lot more common
than you might think. I’ve heard many such views from US
immigrants,
foreigners, and Europeans. In fact, I’d estimate that about
80 to 90
percent of Europeans feel that way about our lifestyle.
You might
wonder why if so many immigrants in the
In
In some
European countries, in work situations you get
2 hour lunch breaks and 6 hour work days, ending around 4pm or so. And you get a
The
obsession with work in
The fear
of being poor in
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=371485
“What I have noticed as a difference between the
Add to that that it is far easier to really hit rock bottom in the
Another aspect is that Americans just work damned hard, long hours.
They need
to, to make the money it takes to live up to a certain material
standard. They
have precious little time with their families as it is. Far less time
then is
standard in most countries in
Now,
When our
society constantly perpetuates excess consumption and material
desires with hype, our general focus becomes on the outward rather than
the
inward. People are judged based on what they have, which creates
their
status. As a result, we lose touch with
our inner selves, have no true self-confidence/self-esteem, and
therefore have
fragile egos dependent on outer things and material possessions.
It’s no
wonder then that in general, I notice that people abroad have richer
and
refined inner lives than Americans.
In the
When one
has no inner life and totally depends on the
outer, as most Americans do, then when things in the outer life go
wrong or become
stagnant, one becomes disrupted as well. Such a person is
vulnerable, a
victim of circumstance with no inner foundation to rely on. As a result, one is left to having to resort
to feigning outward happiness, rather than have true inward
happiness.
I’ve heard it said that there seems to be an inverse relationship
between inner
happiness and material assets. In fact, according to studies, the
country
rated with the happiest people in the world is
Americans
generally live mind-numbing lives in
mind-numbing environments (especially in suburban
And
nowadays (especially in
Instead of
filling people with substance or reality,
it instills them with consumerist hype.
In order
to keep them motivated with these conditions,
people in the
Many
people in the country feel empty, and seek
distractions in shallow stimulation because they don't know what else
to
do. Some don't even realize that they feel empty, because they
just get
keep busy distracting themselves with something. And plus, you
aren't supposed
to feel empty if you have a job, house, and family, which represent the
ideal
life. You are supposed to be
fulfilled by being able to buy things, hence the consumerist
hype-driven
culture of ours. Nevertheless, many in
the
It’s
no surprise then that those who thrive on the
intellect or soul often struggle and feel alienated in mainstream
In
In the
Ironically,
though mainstream Americans are
conformists to the system, they see themselves as
individualistic. Such
may seem to be a discrepancy, but perhaps it depends on your
reference point,
as I'm sure average Americans do not see themselves as
conformists.
Instead, they see the way they "conform" to the system like zombies
as simply the way of normal real life. Perhaps their sense of
individualism is a delusion. It depends on your point of view,
but one
person explained the seeming discrepancy to me like this:
“Americans are
individualists
in the way they pursue goals- they do not work well in groups or pairs.
They like
to do each one his own thing. So, they meet for convenience and then
split each
one going his own way.
Conforming is in the way one speaks and dresses and acts. But goals are
something totally different.”
If you
look at the big picture of how things are in
One of the
places where this is the most true is in
corporate
In fact,
conformity is even more important than
honesty. And contrary to the old adage, honesty has never been
the best
policy. In fact, more often than not honesty gets you into
trouble and is
used against you. But conformity gets you much farther.
What this
means is that being yourself can get you into trouble, but pretending
to
conform gets you accepted. That is a very sad state of affairs.
Even my
own dad, who has always led a very stable
life, admitted that I was right about this. In an email, he wrote:
“Dear Win,
I totally agree with this. Conformity is the key to success and
acceptance in this
society, not right or wrong, not so much about being yourself, or
unnecessary
honesty.
Dad”
In
addition, even after conforming, in order to keep
your job, you pretty much have to center your life around it and make
its needs
your top priority. The reason is pragmatically obvious. If
you
don’t live and breathe your work and center your life around it,
your company
will simply replace you with someone who IS willing to do that.
It’s as
simple as that. In order to compete, thrive, and expand in the
American
economy, the company has to have employees who are willing to live and
breathe
their job. And in order to insure your long term economic
stability,
you’ve got to place your company’s needs above yours.
In effect, you are
forced to be a servant for your own good. That’s how it is.
Now, I
don’t mean to over-generalize here. I
know that
On a
related point, the few who thrive in this system
are given all the praise and glory, whereas those who don't thrive in
these
conditions are PERSECUTED, directly and indirectly, in many ways.
They
are made to feel inadequate, since they are compared to others who
thrive, and
deprived of resources and social status. They are also told
either
directly or indirectly that there is something wrong with them.
It's an
unfair ungodly punishment on those who don't thrive or fit in or find a
niche
in our society.
This
constant psychological pressure is what makes our
egos in
In fact, I
think that nowhere else in the world are
people who don't fit in are stripped of ego and self-worth the way they
are
here (by society and culture, not by the government). It's no
wonder that
we have the highest rate of mental illness in this country, and that
most of
the serial killers in the world are from
Competition
is the basis of our culture and economy,
and therefore becomes our mentality as well. This means that
people
either have money, or they are striving to be better than everyone
else.
This competitive mentality eventually leads us to become more "stuck
up" toward others than we would otherwise be. We evaluate others
in
terms of their worth, and compare ourselves to them. This creates
a
rivalry mentality that leads fellow human beings in our country to see
each
other as opponents or adversaries. And sadly enough, having a lot
of
money and material possessions changes your attitude toward others,
making you
more spoiled and "stuck up".
On the
other hand, countries like
Let's face
the dreaded brutal reality here. In
In
A
Lithuanian critic of
http://www.geociti.es/CapitolHill/Senate/1120/article1.html
“I see that in this cutthroat
society, based on a
"greed is good" philosophy, unlimited profit seeking, selfishness,
fraud and greediness for money dominates everywhere. Money is
absolutely the
bottom line for everything. In
He further
concludes:
“I am of the opinion that American
capitalism is
incompatible with humaneness. Moreover, this inhumane system has led to
the
moral bankruptcy of American society, which has bred the alienation of
people,
breakdown of families, enormous crime and the drug epidemics.”
And one of
my eloquent readers vehemently stated:
“This country is based
on the "all,
not so mighty dollar". It makes me sick to my stomach. We are taught
from
the beginning to go to school, get a good education so you can find a
good
paying job so you can acquire as much useless debt as possible and pay
the rest
of your life. Even then, the cars, houses etc don't belong to you
because you
only receive a deed or a certificate of title. The government owns it
all. Many
people here don't believe it but I always ask, Why do you pay property
taxes
every year and why do you have to have a drivers license, with
insurance,
registration and inspection. The answer I get, "It's the law". What
law? The law only exists in your minds if you realize that
everything
applies to your corporate body and not your natural person(human
being). Most
people don't even have a clue and look at you strange when you say
this.
American people in general are the most plastic people in the world
literally.
I mean, it seems just about everyone lives on credit. I did for a while
and
found out the truth and stopped paying on my own credit.”
Elaborating
on the assertion that not only are
Americans “plastic” people, but that they live on
“plastic” as well, he writes:
“What people around the world don't
understand is that
There is this laughably
ridiculous notion in our country that Capitalism is based on and
supported
by Judeo-Christian values. Nothing could be further from the
truth.
Anyone with even a surface knowledge of the two could see that there
are some
obvious fundamental conflicts.
Capitalism teaches that greed is good, benefiting the economy
and
oneself, while Christian teachings and Bible passages clearly teach
that greed
is bad, wicked, and leads to destruction. Also, Capitalism
teaches that
selfishness and profit motive is good, and that one should win at all
costs,
while Christianity teaches selflessness, humility, giving up worldly
desires, and servitude to the Lord. A Bible passage even
says that
it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for
a rich
man to enter the
So why do the Capitalists in
this country try to pretend that they both support each other? It seems like a pathetic
attempt to
reconcile the irreconcilable.
Perhaps at
the root of this problem is an outdated
ideology that amassing wealth and private property equals freedom, an
idea
borrowed from the European Enlightenment era of the 18th
Century. Jeremy Rifkin explains this in
his book The
European Dream, page 158:
"Most of my European friends
and
acquaintances are quick to ridicule
But the point is, it was the
American
people that became the purest advocates of the European Enlightenment
idea that
equates private property with freedom.”
Clearly,
In many
cases, the
Therefore,
we can conclude that the
Some think
that this is all a good thing of course,
with all the technological improvements and comforts that
In many
other countries, people are focused around
culture and family solidarity. However,
America's foreign policy, economic influence, expansion, imperialism,
etc. over
the world, is attempting to convert the rest of the world to be like us
(under
the false guise of freddom and democracy). Our foreign policy
makers and
propagandists think that we are the role model for the rest of the
world to
copy and emulate.
Valdas
Anelauskas, mentioned earlier, wrote a very vehement treatise against
Hence, the
rest of the world is becoming consumption
driven, materialistic minded, and capitalist in structure.
Eventually,
people in other countries will also be forced to center their existence
around
money and career too. They will have no choice. And it will
be all
in the name of "progress". It's a sad state of affairs.
But that's what the mechanized impersonal capitalist systems that
control the
flow of all resources and capital is turning the world into. Just
look at
how things have developed in the world over the past century, and you
will see
how obvious this is.
It looks
like Alex Jones and David Icke were right
about the “New World Order” taking hold on the world
through Western
imperialism. What they and other leaders in the conspiracy movement
have warned and predicted has come to pass.
Anyhow,
these are among the valid reasons why US culture
and influence is disliked and abhorred by many foreign intellectuals,
especially European. They see its
industrial culture and economic system as a mindless powerful machine
that
destroys the mind, soul, and environment. (See Industrial
Society
Destroys Mind and Environment by a researcher in India) And even worse,
it poses a dangerous threat to the world by enforcing its influence to
bring
about the same to other nations, which many object to.
My Expat
Advisor stated:
“While it may not be
sophisticated, American culture is not bankrupt in the financial sense.
It is
very powerful. It is ousting all the other cultures from where they
are.
Jeremy
Rifkin, writes on our outmoded international
appeal in The
European Dream, page 16 - 17:
“That's
why it saddens me
to say that
Now, on a
deeper note, I happen to believe in karma,
and also in the Greek and Chinese saying that "everything should be in
moderation". I surmise that extremities when prolonged,
eventually
collapse and result in a major toppling shift at some point.
History has
shown this, since in reality, nothing can have unlimited growth. Eventually, growth must collapse in order to
make way for new growth cycles. Such is
simply the law of the universe.
Hence, our
extreme "life is all about money"
principle is too unnatural to sustain forever, and that at some point
eventually, there will be a radical reformation or revolution of the
status quo
of some sort, whether karmic or material in nature. In other
words, the
prolonged imbalance of all this must inevitably cause some sort of
upsurge of
the status quo, whether socially, spiritually, or economically.
The
system we have is just too unnatural and imbalanced to sustain forever
in my
view. I am not trying to make any specific prophecies here, just
my
general observation on the big picture of things.
However,
change is never easy, and the
psychological/cultural obstacle that
The
European Dream, page 23:
“It’s going to
be very difficult for
Americans to adjust to a borderless world of relationships and flows
where
everyone is increasingly connected in webs and networks, and dependent
on one
another for one’s individual and collective well-being. What
happens to the
American sense of being special, of being a chosen people, in a world
where
exclusivity is steadily giving way to inclusivity? Does God really care
less
about the whole of his earthly creation than he does about the North
American
part? Europeans might find such a conjecture funny, but, believe me,
many
Americans remain wedded to the notion of our special status as
God’s chosen
ones. If we were to give up that belief,
or even entertain doubt about its veracity, our sense of confidence in
ourselves and the American Dream might experience irreparable
harm.”
Page 83 - 85:
"THE TUG BETWEEN EUROPE and
What we are going to find,
by retracing
European history, are the roots of the American Dream that we discussed
in
chapter 1. Although historians rarely allude to it, the reality
is that
the American Dream represents the thinking of a moment of time, frozen
in
European history and transported whole cloth to American shores in the
eighteenth century, where it continued to animate the American
experience right
up to the present day.
We Americans like to think
of ourselves
as forward-thinking, with our attention focused on the distant horizon. However, our worldview, strangely enough, is
locked into a specific period of time long since passé by in
European
history. In short, the American Dream is a very old dream and
becoming
increasingly irrelevant in the new era of globalization."
Mr. Rifkin
though, offers hope in the new European
Union:
The
European
Dream, page
13 – 14:
“The American Dream
puts an
emphasis on economic growth, personal wealth, and independence.
The new
European Dream focuses more on sustainable development, quality of
life, and
interdependence. The American Dream pays homage to the work ethic. The
European
Dream is more attuned to leisure and deep play. The American Dream is
inseparable from the country's religious heritage and deep spiritual
faith. The
European Dream is secular to the core. The American Dream is
assimilationist.
We associate success with shedding our former cultural ties and
becoming
free agents in the great American melting pot. The European Dream, by
contrast,
is based on preserving one's cultural identity and living in a
multicultural
world. The American Dream is wedded to love of country and patriotism.
The
European Dream is more cosmopolitan and less territorial.
Americans are
more willing to employ military force in the world, if necessary, to
protect
what we perceive to be our vital self-interests. Europeans are more
reluctant
to use military force and, instead, favor diplomacy, economic
assistance, and
aid to avert conflict and prefer peacekeeping operations to maintain
order.
Americans tend to think locally while European's loyalties are more
divided and
stretch from the local to the global. The American Dream is deeply
personal and
little concerned with the rest of humanity. The European Dream is more
expansive and systemic, and therefore more bound to the welfare of the
planet.”
Discuss
this article here: https://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6759
See also:
The Industrial
Culture of
America and Automaton Populace
Debunking the
Myth of
Freedom and Democracy in America
The Big Lie: Why
America is all about
Control and Conformity, not Truth or Freedom
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